I am not a great fan of social media; since I never knew what to post or share on my feed, I never felt like I belonged.I was facing a period when I would open the Instagram app and immediately feel inadequate at my empty profile. I find the front iPhone camera unflattering and so I rarely take pictures of myself. I also stay at home most of the time and therefore do not have stellar posts to share, unless you find a photo of my tv screen with the words “are you still watching” interesting.
The lack of material to post and the feeling like I was not doing everything possible to look as fit and youthful as others led me to delete Instagram. Twitter was the other app I used, and after opening and closing the app many times per day, I felt like I needed a breather.
Deleting twitter disconnected me from a part of the world; it was where I found the most current information and read occasional tweets from high school friends I didn’t speak with often. Although it was not easy, and I found myself thinking of going on the app only to remember I deleted it, it felt refreshing. I found myself using my phone a lot less and not taking it wherever I went.
During the pandemic, many of us glued ourselves to our phones more than ever and relied on them for news and connecting to others when distance and isolation were a prime factor. Since the pandemic, I have suffered from feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and sadness. Although I was not always sharing tweets or photos, there was familiarity and consistency when using social media. There was always something on my timeline to engage with, such as funny memes, insightful thoughts, and encouraging words.
However, I have found that without social media, I am less distracted and watch the news or read headlines to be informed. Finding something to fill the time is a challenging, but a fun experience. Waking up and not checking my phone first has been a great improvement.