Friendships are tricky things, especially in a college environment. The adjustment from high school to college is hard enough when you recognize the immense changes in responsibility you face, but accounting for friendships makes that adjustment just a bit harder. This past year of graduating high school and moving on-campus to a school where I only knew a select few people taught me so much about not only myself, but friendships and how I fit into each one I have.
When I say that this past year taught me lessons about friendships, it’d be impossible to skip over the end of my 4 years in high school. I come from a really small high school where there were literally less than 80 people in my grade. It was painfully obvious at the end of my time there that everybody was itching with anticipation to leave and move on to bigger and better things, even if it meant leaving friendships behind as well. First off, I realized that some friendships we think will last forever, won’t. Don’t get me wrong, friends are essential for surviving and having fun in high school, but don’t be surprised if you don’t keep up with all of your “best friends forever”. Second, I learned that true friends and the most genuine ones will reach out and make an effort. I always struggled with letting go of people, but after graduation, it was surprisingly easy to recognize what was worth the effort. Third, I learned that having friends for only a few years or having friendships that don’t last forever is okay. Not all friendships are meant to last forever and I don’t mean to get too deep here, but I’m a huge believer that every person you meet is in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Maybe that friend you made in sophomore year history just isn’t meant to be there for a lifetime, and it’s not a bad thing.
Moving on to college… I’ve already met enough people and had enough interactions in these past few months to write a novel, so it’s safe to say I’ve learned a thing or two about new friends as well. I can’t write about friends in college without mentioning my roommate. We met through some Instagram group chat that I honestly don’t even know how I ended up in, but reaching out to her was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Feel free to reach out to people before you even get to school, you never know if you might meet your future best friend. On the other hand, be prepared that someone you did meet online before school could be completely different in real life. When making friends in new environments, don’t be afraid to get a little out of your comfort zone and try new things. New environments are all about new opportunities, so take advantage of as many as you want.
Yet another lesson I’ve learned throughout this transition is to not get attached or invested in friendships too quickly. I’ll say that I made a friend during the first few weeks of school. I thought we would be pretty good friends, and then in less than a month, I stopped talking to her. This isn’t to say that you should be scared to make friends, just be cautious and don’t rush into anything because people will reveal their full selves to you over time, and you might realize that maybe you aren’t really meant to be friends. Additionally, when you get to college, everyone is settling in and trying new things, so it’s almost a guarantee that you won’t stay friends with everyone you meet within the first few weeks.
Listen, this past year has been kind of crazy for all of us and it’s no surprise that our friendships and relationships have been affected in some way by this chaos. Just stay true to yourself and I promise that the best, most genuine, lifelong friendships will find a way to survive anything.