Recently, many of my conversations with friends, fellow classmates and others have been about patriarchy. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how evident it is that men get to decide what is right and what is wrong when it comes to women, and it infuriates me. Maybe you feel the same, or maybe you are curious about my thoughts as an 18 year old woman trying to navigate my life and my values; either way, I encourage you to read my thoughts and think about your own. So, here are some words I have for the society we live in and all of the people that contribute to it.
You Don’t Get to Comment on My Body
I get so tired of seeing and hearing comments about bodies, men or women. It is 100% never, ever your place to judge someone’s physical appearance. Especially with social media, I am constantly scrolling through thousands and thousands of negative comments on body positive posts. About weight, acne, cellulite, anything else you can imagine. It baffles me that people, both men and women, think that they have any right to decide what another person should look like. News flash, you don’t. As for myself, I seriously don’t give a shit what you think or have to say about my physical appearance, simply because I know you have no right. It’s not only comments, a lot of the time it’s stares. I understand if you see something out of the ordinary, maybe a woman with a mohawk that is dyed bright green. Honestly, I would stare at that too. But your next thought should not be judgmental or hurtful in any way, even if you don’t say it out loud. Your next thought should be focused on how awesome that girl is for doing what she wants with herself, and how it is her body and her choice. Be mindful of your staring, and how it might make that person feel, and then be mindful of what your brain is thinking, and change those thoughts if you wouldn’t want to hear them about yourself.
Stop the Stereotyping
For 2021, we still have a lot of unnecessary stereotypes. Men should provide for the family, women should stay at home with the babies, men shouldn’t work a job without any physical labor involved, women shouldn’t be a boss of a company, blah, blah, blah. These are only a few examples of stereotyping that I have read or heard over the past few years. A lot of these mindsets are from generations of patriarchy and beliefs that men are superior. And don’t even get me started on the stereotypical, “perfect” woman. Not too thin but not too thick, curvy but without any fat, a thigh gap but thick thighs, a flat stomach but not with the ribs showing, big lips but not too big, no body hair except long hair on her head and perfect brows and lashes. I know everyone has a “type,” but that doesn’t mean every person needs to fit in your type, and you shouldn’t expect them to. Overall people need to let people be themselves, with no harsh judgments.
It is us, the people of this 2021 society, that keeps patriarchy alive. Almost each and every one of us has contributed to the patriarchy in one way or another. That has to stop. The first step is recognizing your faults. The second is to fix those faults. As a young woman, I hope to see the day that this society has zero patriarchal values, however I won’t hold my breath.