It’s almost Christmas season, so what better way to promote self-love through gift-giving than buying yourself a new vibrator, soaking in a warm bath, relaxing, and letting go of all the things that will become tomorrow’s problem? But wait — masturbation is weird, cringey and something women — or anyone who doesn’t identify as male — shouldn’t even do, right?
Wrong.
This toxic mentality of female masturbation being a taboo subject makes self-discovery even harder. How are women expected to orgasm through penetration when an average of 82% of women can’t? How are women expected to figure this out when masturbation is considered gross and something only men do? Masturbation is so demonized to the point where many women feel ashamed, but why?
Masturbation has been proven many times to reduce stress, improve sleep quality, and relieve cramps and, like everything else, is great in moderation. It also is known to strengthen immune systems, increase libido, and increase blood flow; so why is it considered taboo if it has all these benefits? As much as I wish I had an answer, I don’t, but something tells me it’s tied to societal standards of how women are supposed to look during sex: completely bare, absolutely zero hair, and smelling like roses. It’s a bit suspicious.
Even with this knowledge, masturbation is a powerful tool that can make you incredibly self-aware. You get to be personal and intimate with yourself — you finally realize that maybe you don’t like your arms being touched or maybe you do. Now that you know, you can set boundaries with your partner or ask for it from your partner, or perhaps, you found a new intimate situation that you can both enjoy.
It’s almost like confidence, and everyone loves when their partner is just as confident as themselves. When you fulfill your own expectations of intimacy, your partner is quick to follow. This is if they’re a good partner; otherwise, throw the whole relationship away, baby. Figure out the little things about yourself in order to feel comfortable about your own body and the way it works.
Masturbation is common, and something many people shouldn’t be afraid to bring up. It should be fun, easy and comfortable. Like anything else, it shouldn’t be forced if you don’t want to do it. You have to give yourself consent too. Take it easy and slow; there is no rush — your body will always be there when you’re ready.