Alex Bell
My worst and honestly most stupid romantic encounter was when I met this guy on Bumble, and he was kinda cute so I decided to meet up with him for a date. He was a very outdoorsy person and really wanted to take me to his house because he lived in the middle of nowhere and had lots of land. Like a dumb college student, I said yes and went with this stranger into the woods and we ended up having some fun finding mushrooms and things like that, but then he wanted to climb down to this bridge thing and I was horrified. I am not an outdoorsy person so trudging through wet tall grass and going in the woods was enough for me. But I didn’t want to seem lame, so I climbed down a very steep and dangerous hill and was horrified. Not the worst thing in the world to happen, but I now know not to follow strange men into the woods.
Chris P. Bacon
The strangest date I’ve ever been on happened while I was still dating men and it stands the test of time as the worst romantic encounter I’ve had. As soon as I met up with the guy I immediately knew I was not interested, although he seemed perfect on paper. Unfortunately, I just had to grit my teeth and get through it. At first he seemed okay; we made polite conversation about the weather and our respective majors. Once we sat down though he started talking about his hometown and things went south. He told me all about his farm and how his animals were getting brutally murdered by the coyotes in the woods outside his house, which I found to be a little weird. I did not need to be hearing about the details of animal slaughter during brunch. He talked a lot—I didn’t have to say much the entire time since he kept going on about his animals and also about his high school and how small it was. He didn’t ask me any questions about myself, it was so awkward and uncomfortable. I just kept waiting for it to end. Looking back I think even if I was attracted to men this probably would still be the worst date of my life.
Myth
Thankfully, the one date I’ve been on was a good one, but I can’t say the same about my first kiss. Quality-wise, I think it was better than I had ever expected, given that everyone always talks about how awkward first kisses can be. But the guy … well, he not only killed the mood immediately after by telling me he had a boner and introducing me to his friend immediately as his girlfriend despite us not having talked about it or been on a date at all, but before all of that he called me a fujoshi, which if you didn’t know is a not-so-nice term for people who sexualize MLM relationships. He called me that because of (not at all sexual and actually WLW) ship art I had as my phone’s wallpaper, even knowing that I was bisexual. I support healthy relationships, and I don’t think I’ve ever sexualized any relationship??? So. Not great. Literally got to the car when my parents picked me up from that dance (that’s right, my first kiss was at a school dance) and started bawling and didn’t stop for a good two hours. Let’s hope that experience never repeats itself.
Nicole Pepperwood
My worst romantic encounter (both first date and first kiss) unfortunately comes from the same person. I was 13, fresh out of my emo phase, and looking for love. I happened to meet this kid on a random golf course and we ended up hitting it off really well! We talked for a few more weeks, and then decided to make it official by going to see the second Pitch Perfect movie. Seeing as I was only 13, and he was 15 years old, his mom had to drive us to and from the movie. But honestly thank god for his mother, because he did not say a single word to me all night. I’m talking radioactive silence. His mom would ask him questions to try and coax him into talking to me but he wouldn’t budge.
Fast forward some two months later, it was time to have our first kiss. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I read about ten fanfictions to really ready myself for this monumental experience. So. He came over, we went downstairs, watched a movie, you know, all the good stuff. The time had come to seal the deal, and the first kiss wasn’t too bad! Neither was the second or third. But you see, I’d been waiting for this moment my whole life, so I was full on tonguing this poor kid. After a minute or two he pulled back and said “don’t you think that’s a little much.” We then went on to date for a year and a half lol.
Anna Saey
One of the worst first dates I’ve ever been on was definitely my last with this person and makes me cringe every time I think about it. I was in 8th grade and I went out with a guy that I was friends with for a while. We went to the same school and did some of the same extracurricular activities, so when we both decided that we liked each other we went to see Shrek the Musical at a school close by. My parents dropped me off at his house and I did not realize that his brother, along with five of his friends, would be accompanying us on said date. So we all packed into his mom’s minivan and went to the show. It was super weird and I, as an 8th grader, didn’t know how to get myself out, so I just stayed and tried to enjoy my time. After the show was over, we all went to McDonald’s for ice cream and he kissed me in the back of his mom’s car. Obviously, that kiss was terrible and I wouldn’t even say that the musical was even the perk of the night.
Christina Régnier
This wasn’t my first kiss, but it was my second. I was on a double date with my friend. This guy I had never met before and his friend were our dates. We all hopped between bars after going to a cute Mexican restaurant. I was so bored. The guy was nice, but weird and then we went dancing at one of the bars – we were swaying and then he leaned in and kissed me. I was reciprocating and completely consenting, but I felt NOTHING! Absolutely nothing. It was more boring than him. The End.
Bertha Blood
My first real date with a man started off with us in an indoor mini golf park that looked like the baby between a Spencer’s and a Monster Energy drink. Black lights lined the ceiling so anything that was white was glowing brightly. The guy (who was really f*cking rich, by the way) told me that when I talked and smiled, my teeth were glowing. He asked me if his were too … and they were not, but I did not tell him that! Safe to say I ended the night with a hug, not a kiss.