When we love someone, sometimes our hearts don’t pay attention to the red flags they have. Sometimes, we let someone else define our worth. Sometimes, “we accept the love we think we deserve,” (if you get this reference, I love you). But it’s true, sometimes we’re the girl in the story who doesn’t know her worth and settles for less because we think it’s the best we can get. But soon enough, that girl becomes the girl who knows what she wants and will never settle. There are going to be times where you don’t know if you should stay or you should go. Sometimes, you don’t know if they’re going to change like they said they would, or they’re going to stay the same and continue to hurt you the way they’ve been doing for who knows how long.
One of your most burning questions is probably when do you love and when do you leave. There is no real answer to that question. It’s ultimately up to you, but there are some options.
You can be the girl who knows her worth and knows that her expectations aren’t that high for someone who wants to put in the effort. You can be the girl who stays with someone who’s not willing to try. It depends on you. But you love someone when they’re willing to put in the effort and you leave them when you realize the effort they’re putting in isn’t enough for you.
See, here’s the thing, we all want to find the love of our lives in the first few relationships we have. It’s never going to work like that though. We’re not going to find the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with in the first week of looking, unless you’re willing to settle.
When I was in highschool, I dated this guy. I liked him and he was sweet, but things changed after a couple months. He would get mad at me over what I wore, over who I hung out with, and even about guys talking about me in the bathroom. He wanted to know where I was, why I was wearing what I was wearing, etc. He would call me names for arguing with him. Now, in my opinion, those were red flags. He was acting like I had no say in my own life and that he had to know everything. But I loved him so I dealt with it and my heart ignored the flags that were so blindingly red.
Until one day, he got mad because I was sick and I just wanted to go home instead of going to go see him. I was so tired at that point. So tired of hearing no one was going to love me like he would. Tired of hearing “where are you,” or “why are you hanging out with her when you could’ve hung out with me,” or even that I don’t have any feelings because I’m so cruel to him, as though I was the one trying to control his life. I was just so tired that I broke up with him. I told him that I don’t care about what he says anymore, that I don’t care how much I love him, or if no one will love me like he does. I told him I was done, that I knew my worth and I deserved better than what he was giving me.
It’s hard to know when to leave, but you should never let it get to the point where you’re exhausted to the point of no return. Learn your limits. Love yourself to the point where you don’t accept anything less than someone who is willing to treat you like a princess.
As someone who has a heart that overflows with love to give, choose the right person wisely. Your love should only be given to people who are willing to give you love back. And leave when sadness is more prevalent in your relationship than happiness is. You are amazing and someone will give you the love you want, but you have to take the chance to wait for it.