“sometimes we satisfy the need for being by just having”
-Anonymous
I found this anonymous quote a little while ago while aimlessly scrolling on social media, which is one of the many things I tend to do when life gets too stressful.
Distracting myself from the current chaos going on in my life is a skill I have unfortunately grown to master. Psychologists define escape coping as a “maladaptive form of coping in which a person changes their behavior to avoid thinking about, feeling, or doing difficult things.” (https://www.verywellmind.com)
I fit this definition like a glove, and maybe you do, too. People have many different ways to escape their trauma. However, for me, I go straight to TJ Maxx.
In other words, I am addicted to retail therapy.
Bad breakup? Nothing that a little Target run won’t fix. Parents fighting again? No big deal, I will just stop at Old Navy before I get home. Presentation didn’t go as well as I hoped? Urban Outfitters, see you soon, bestie.
I have struggled with retail therapy my whole life. I developed the constant habit of turning to shopping when something didn’t go my way, both big and small. It got to the point where I was so stressed about paying for college, I drove straight to the outlet malls and dropped $200 I barely had.
This habit led me into a shrinking bank account and unresolved feelings about situations I was going through. Shoving my feelings aside whenever I entered one of my favorite stores felt like my safe haven. It took me until recently to realize I am actually doing more harm than good. I end up only temporarily fulfilled and even more stressed out about whatever situation I was trying to avoid.
If you are like me and also fighting the retail therapy battle, I am here to help. Not all retail therapy can be bad, especially if you are also giving yourself the help you need. Whether that is counseling, support groups, talking to a trusted friend, or even talking a walk to cool down.
If you can’t seem to quit the retail therapy habit, keep reading for some budget- friendly retail therapy spots that (depending on what you buy) won’t hurt your bank account.
Budget-friendly retail therapy stores
- TJ Maxx
- Marshalls
- Old Navy
- Burlington Coat Factory
- Gabe’s
- Plato’s Closet
- Uptown Cheapskate
- Resale/ Thrift Shops
If you are in the thick habit of retail therapy, I encourage you to try to do one of these alternatives the next time you feel like dropping your dollars.
retail therapy alternatives:
- Exercise or do something active.
- Make or go buy a cheap coffee.
- Watch your favorite movie.
- Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.
- Make a smoothie.
- Edit your resume and start job hunting.
- If you are religious, practice spirituality.
- Paint your nails.
- Color. Don’t under estimate the power of adult coloring books, people.
- Journal your thoughts, or write something random.
- Do some yoga.
- Shower and put on some comfy clothes.
- Facetime a friend.
- Update your planner.
- Write someone a letter. (Everyone loves a good homemade card!)
Let me be clear, shopping, and even shopping just because, is not necessarily bad for you. However, it is important to understand the motive behind those constant TJ Maxx trips.
Some Questions to ask yourself:
How long have I wanted to have this thing that I am buying?
- If the answer is less than 2 weeks, put it back.
If I came back next week or next month, would I still want this item?
- If the answer is yes, consider the ways you would use the item.
Do I already have something similar to this item in the same or similar color?
- If yes, how often do you use the item? Does it actually make sense to buy another one?
Tomorrow will I regret not getting this item?
If yes, how many of the items are in stock? Sometimes, I like to not buy something I am on the fence about just to see if it is still there the next time I am at that certain store. If it isn’t there when I come back, I take that as a sign that it wasn’t meant to be.
As someone who still struggles, I know how hard this battle can be. Hopefully these tips, tricks and questions can be useful for your urge to go to retail therapy.