If I were to be honest, I spent years disliking Halloween. I get the childhood nostalgia that Halloween gives people. It is a day when people dress up and get free candy from neighbors. It was fun during elementary school when we would pause the class lessons and have a Halloween parties instead. There are a lot of enjoyable moments in the tradition.
I was doing fine during my first year of Halloween. Maybe it was the fact that I was wearing a Red Ranger suit from Power Rangers: Ninja Storm. Granted, I probably had no awareness about what was going on since I was in pre-school, and candy is quite good if you like sweet treats. But, I eventually developed a fear for Halloween in kindergarten. Perhaps it was the ambiance of the night, but while trick-or-treating as Cinderella, I felt a huge discomfort with my surroundings. That night, if I remember correctly, I cried my way home.
From there, my fear spiraled over the years. If I ever had to get a new costume in a Halloween store, I either stared at the ground until I knew I was “safe” or I closed my eyes and hoped that I would be guided to the right area. I would avoid any horror films whenever I was looking at movies. If I accidentally made eye-contact with any of the movie covers, I would be haunted for the rest of my days.
I am not sure where this fear stemmed from. Perhaps it was the many creepy stories my cousins told me as a child. Maybe it was the ghost hunting shows other cousins showed me. Maybe I am afraid of being afraid–actually, the term for having a phobia of being afraid is called phobiaphobia. However, fear is natural.
I have tried to adapt with this fear in many ways. At one point, I realized that there are some fears that are hard to overcome. Trust me, I know horror films that I watched are fictional even if they are “based on a true story.” I had my laughs during the film, Train to Busan, because I thought about how the people who turn into zombies are just actors. Just thinking about actual people moving that way in real life does feel a little ridiculous and funny. These films are just entertainment. South Korea actually takes that concept and gives horror films a different reason to exist. To explain that, South Korea releases horror films in the summer. They do that in order to help people cool down in the summer because horror can be scary to the point that they cause chills. Maybe fear does have its perks in this case.
But as I said, fear is natural. We have things in our life that will cause us anxiety or fear. There are some fears that we can overcome. Other things are more deeply rooted and might be harder to overcome. It might be easier to adapt. I’ve learned to accept that the horror genre is always going to be there. There are people who appreciate it, and that’s great! For now, I am content with turning on my ad-blocker on YouTube to avoid those intense advertisements. I definitely have come a long way though, and for me, that means that some fears do subside over time. And I hope the same for you.
Happy spooky season!