I was drawn to the funky, spunky, and close nature of them.
Rory and Lorelai Gilmore seemed to be the perfect mother-daughter duo. The more I watched their cute breakfast dates, shopping trips, and zealous family experiences, the more I longed for a familial relationship like theirs.
It wasn’t until I moved across the country that I realized I already had one. My mom and I weren’t make-shift sisters or anywhere as close as the Gilmore girls were, but we didn’t need to be. Because we were us: the sarcastic, loving, and often temperamental mother-daughter combination. She was one of my best friends, but I didn’t get to acknowledge that when I was at home.
Now I sit in my dorm room waiting for her Facetime call just to snatch a glimpse of her motherly smile or get caught up on the neighborhood drama. When the ringing often goes to voicemail, I get a feeling I am not comfortable with – a longing almost. I want to hug my mother.
I wish I had hugged her a hundred times more than I did before I left, but being independent has always been a clinging personality trait of who I am. Growing up, I never wanted to show emotions or weaknesses because that was seen as a negative “female” trait. Yearning to be taken seriously in a man’s world, I toughened up and hid my heart deep beneath my sleeve. I wanted to embark on my new college life in full embrace. But, I am learning now that this doesn’t mean I cannot be vulnerable with my struggles and needs.
These “female” emotions are not a weakness, but a strength. Being able to fully own up to your feelings is a powerful step towards personal growth.
So I am here to tell you it is okay to miss home. It is okay to be scared. It is okay to be vulnerable. And it is okay to want a hug from your mom.