Have you ever seen something or heard something that made it feel like your heart just dropped down to your feet? Like your chest was empty and your heart felt like it was constricting painfully, and your lungs struggling to breathe? Me too. We’ve all been hurt at one point or another, whether it was due to a relationship heartbreak or a friendship ending, or the loss of a loved one. We’ve all been hurt and we’ve all had to make ourselves heal from the pain.
I’m going to tell you a story about a girl’s first heartbreak. It wasn’t a usual heartbreak that consists of romance, but it was the kind of heartbreak you experience with friendships lost.
When this girl, we’ll call her V, was young, about five years old, she met another girl. They became close friends and loved each other deeply, always wanting to play with each other and always wanting to hang out. They were attached at the hip, never one without the other. V’s best friend was there for her through her parents arguing all the time, through her peers’ harsh words, through her fears, through her sadness. She was there for V through everything up until they were twelve years old.
They were both about to start seventh grade and were so excited to embark on this next journey together. Until she had told V that she was moving to another state, a far state from the one they were living. . V was in absolute shock. She was confused and hurt as to why no one said anything and why it was happening so soon. V thought maybe her friend had hidden it from her because she didn’t want to hurt her, but she was hurt anyway. V cried and cried for days, heart hurting, eyes sore, voice raspy. She knew what happened to friends when one of them moved, especially when they’re young.
Her best friend was leaving her and now she had no one. She had no one to hang out with and play with and talk to. She felt all alone, but tried to make the most of her days left with her best friend. When the day finally came where her friend was leaving, she cried. She cried tears like a never-ending stream on her cheeks. Then she begged her parents to move with them and yelled at them for being so heartless when they said no. When V went to go see her friend off, she gave her the tightest hug that she could give and her friend hugged back.
“I’ll see you again soon, I promise,” V whispered.
“I can’t wait,” her friend whispered back, with a lump in her throat from holding back the tears.
They never saw each other again after that or talked after that, but V knew she was doing great. Their friendship wasn’t the same and maybe that meant it wasn’t a real friendship, but it was one of the most realistic ones she’s ever had. Her heart broke that day after letting her friend go, and it was never the same after it.
We all have a story with heartbreak and with hurt that runs through our veins. It could be a story with a friendship, or a lover, or a parent, or a family member. Hurt is one of the things life will always give to us unconditionally, but so is the ability to heal.
To heal, you can’t expect to go back to the way you were. It will never happen and you will just continue to be disappointed and heartbroken. To heal, you have to face the fact that the hurt you’re feeling will change who you are as a person and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You have to make it into a good thing. Maybe the heartbreak you feel will teach you a lesson. Maybe that hurt will help you become stronger. Maybe these experiences open doors for you in other ways. We can’t blame life for throwing us a curveball and letting it consume our lives. That’s up to you.
One of the main things we all tend to forget is that in order to heal, we have to let ourselves hurt.