As children, we are not only taught how to make friends, but assume qualities that make ourselves good friends for others. We are told to be kind, treat others how we want to be treated, and learn steps to maintain good relationships, but we are rarely ever taught about one of the most important friendships: a friendship with ourselves. Although friendships with others can be valuable and essential to one’s social life, the friendship you have with your own self is unique to all other companionships you withhold throughout your lifetime. Building a good relationship with yourself is essential for maintaining good mental health, understanding yourself and your body, and learning how to love yourself in any phase of life.
Every friendship is developed off of the kindness that is given by each person. Although this is crucial for maintaining the friendships one already has, it is also important to project the kindness you treat others with onto yourself. Allow time to take care of your body by developing a healthy relationship with food, allotting time to practice an effective skin and hair care routine, performing exercises not just because you have to, and giving your body time to rest when it is well deserved.
Furthermore, practicing self love goes beyond maintaining your appearance. Building a healthy relationship with one’s mind is essential when attempting to reach your greatest potential as a human being. At times, we can be our own worst enemy, therefore it is important to talk kindly to yourself and initiate the practice of self love. Positive affirmations can be influential when practiced repetitively. Whether it is as direct as standing in front of a mirror reminding yourself of your worth, or as simple as being proud of yourself for getting out of bed that day. With time, these positive affirmations will become believable and becoming your own best friend will become easier and easier.
The society we live in today can be very unforgiving to people who do not fit the ‘ideal mold,’ which in return leaves these people with conflicting messages about their self worth ingrained in their minds. Especially growing up with these standards, it can be difficult to heal yourself and reprogram your mind, therefore it is crucial to be understanding and reassuring to ourselves. Grant time for your mind to heal from past experiences in order to allow yourself to grow into your greatest potential. Although bad days may seem exhausting, it is important to allow yourself to feel those unpleasant feelings, so that you can appreciate the ‘happier’ emotions you may experience on better days. Every bad day comes with a good day, so don’t give up on even your worst day because better days are coming.
I am not going to lie to you and say that becoming your own best friend happens over night. I myself started my own journey only about two years ago and although I see progress, I know that this is only the beginning. I am still learning how to be patient and forgiving with myself, while also juggling the responsibilities of an average nineteen year old college student. I encourage anyone who has struggled with their own mental health, to realize their worth and initiate the process of learning to be a friend of their own. Treat yourself when you can, find things that you’re passionate about, be forgiving to your mind of society’s wrongs and learn to love the body that has gotten you through all challenges of life. Although my journey has only just begun, with time I know that I will not only restore the scars that society has ingrained in my mind, but I will be able to discover the greatest friendship and that is with myself.