I am not the main character.
Now, before the positive police come at me, I know my past titles give off negative energy, but trust me when I say I’m saying these things in the most positive manner I possibly can.
I’m just not the main character, because if you really think of it, how many main characters can there possibly be? As many as you might think of, I am not one of them. Hardly anyone even pronounces my name correctly, so how in the world would I have ever been cast?
I’m not the main character because I don’t feel like one. Every time I have tried to act like a “main character” it felt like I was on autopilot. It felt like I was there, but I wasn’t really there. I felt days passing so fast, but I wasn’t really living.
Don’t ask me how I acted like a “main character” because if I’m being honest, I don’t even know. The whole thing felt very weird. I would do a lot of things with the intention of getting noticed, my 5-foot-7.5-inch self was getting way ahead of herself. Again, I wasn’t doing anything for myself. It just felt like every day I was doing things to look or act a certain way and it felt a tiny bit weird.
I’m not in the cast of whatever movie I was thinking of.
Do you know who I have to blame? I blame my 14-year-old self for immersing herself in all the Wattpad books, for actually thinking my life would be like the lives of the girls I read about. It was fun at the moment, but I think it made me think that was exactly how my life was going to turn out. But where am I now? I’m in breakout room 214 with piles and piles of homework. No love interest, no jollof rice, no laptop. Just vibes.
We’re loving it though.
My life right now is just living. I’m just living how I feel most comfortable and it’s going okay so far. Don’t we just love growth?
Have a beautiful rest of your day. Love ya!
XOXO,
Fayobomi
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