I’m single.
I’m not afraid to write it on a post where anyone can see it because I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to admit it.
A couple of years back, I used to think that I wasn’t good enough for anyone and I felt pressured to find a partner.
In my first year and second year, I got advice on where to find people and how I could improve myself to be in a relationship from my senpais and friends.
Well, now I’m here as a senpai and a friend to tell you that I’m glad I didn’t date anyone, and here is why.
1. TO love Oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance -oscar wilde-
Having time to myself led to self-acceptance.
In my first year at ICU, I remember telling a friend that I wanted to go out with someone so that I feel confident about myself. I wanted to have someone that would tell me positive things that I couldn’t tell myself. Whether it’s about my personality or appearance, I thought a partner would be able to make me feel great about the things that I am insecure about.
However, I realized through a friend that went through a bad breakup, that I had to be okay with who I was, love myself, instead of having someone else love who I was for me. It’s hard though because quite frankly it seems impossible to always be confident and to love yourself.
I think being single allowed me to take time for myself to work through insecurities and personal issues. Anyone who knew me as a freshman and knows me now would probably say that I have become more soft and mellow. I used where my heart on my sleeve and didn’t care about what others thought of me, but now I can hide my emotions when necessary and make an effort to leave a positive image of myself. I was able to work on my personality because it’s not great to have someone who brings the atmosphere down. I also have learned to accept myself. I wouldn’t say that I love myself every day, but I can accept who I am instead of feeling negative towards myself.
The biggest step to accepting myself was to understand why I was insecure and figuring out what I could change. Before you change yourself for someone else, changing yourself for yourself is important to your personal growth!
2. Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your itme deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with
-carrie bradshaw-
Being single, meant I got to see and hear other people’s experiences in relationships and learn what I was comfortable with. I know that this is going to sound narcissistic, but I don’t ever think you should think you’re not enough just because you’re single. Just think about it as no one knowing how amazing you are. You’re the main character of your life so hype yourself up!
Don’t just go out with someone that comes your way because you’re desperate for the experience but take your time and think about whether you want to pursue a relationship or not.
3. Being single doesn’t necessarily mean you’re available. Sometimes you have to put up a sing that says “Do Not disturb” on your heart. -wiz Khalifa-
I had an amazing four years at ICU because of my friends.
I’m not saying you’re wasting time getting a partner, but I think one of the reasons I got to travel and hang out with friends so much was because I didn’t commit. Before COVID, I traveled to Hong Kong, Singapore, Korea, Taiwan, and New York with friends and we had a blast.
Thinking back on my days in ICU, I don’t think I had time to go out with anyone. I was always trying new activities and going to new places. You can have a great college experience without dating!
You can be single and still enjoy life.
When you’re in college and everyone around you starts dating, I know it can be pressuring and you might feel like you’re missing out. I felt embarrassed that I had no romantic anything to share with my friends, but thinking back I’m glad that I was single. If I didn’t have time for myself, I would have still been that angry teenager who thinks the whole world is her enemy. I would never have learned that waiting for a relationship instead of rushing can be good. I also might not have been able to create as many memories as I did with my friends!
For anyone who is in a hurry to date, you don’t have to rush.
Who cares about what other people are experiencing. You don’t have to always be strong and confident, but know that you are amazing the way you are!
I’m not stopping anyone from being enthusiastic and getting on a dating app, but if you are feeling unsure then a little time for yourself won’t hurt.