As I packed up the car in August of 2008 to head up to Brunswick, Maine, I had sky-high expectations about what college would be like. I graduated from a small boarding school in Connecticut and, after three years of clique’s and hot gossip, I was definitely ready for a change. College, from what I had heard, would be a time to find myself and find some real friends. I couldn’t wait to get there.
I got to Bowdoin. After my pre-orientation trip, I was thrust into a whirlwind of social events characterized by heavy drinking and gesticulating wildly to bumpin’ ballads like T.I.’s “Whatever You Like.” Freshman year flew by in a haze and, soon enough, I found myself living in a Social House as a sophomore—an opportunity to make new friends and live in a situation unlike any I had lived in before. This was an opportunity for twenty-two strangers “to live in a house and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start being real.”
But things didn’t really get real during sophomore year and now I’m a junior. My time at Bowdoin continues to fly by and I am left wondering when my college experience will change me in all the ways I expected it to. When will I start having philosophical conversations with my peers on the quad? When will I stop concerning myself with which “cute-going-out-top” I should borrow from my roommate on Saturday night?
Time is running out and, despite my best efforts, college still seems pretty high school. We all like to have fun and I know I have a still have a soft spot for the lyrical genius of Ke$ha, so why should we fight it? Just because we all graduated from high school to get here does not mean we need to forget how to party like it’s 2007. I mean, the economy isn’t the only thing that was better back then.
I’ve done a lot of things at Bowdoin to make my college experience a little bit more intellectual and to make myself, I hope, a bit more worldly. Although weekends are still “sooo college” in the worst way, I have seen a far less ‘fratty’ side of Bowdoin. We rarely discuss literature and politics at the Pub on Thursday nights, but in classes we tend to let our intellect show. Still, I think we can do better when it comes to carrying some class out of the classroom and making Bowdoin a more intellectual and active campus.
In high school, I was generally terrified of being publicly smart or passionate about, well, anything. It wasn’t cool to care, so I pretended I didn’t. I always claimed I didn’t study for tests or do the reading when, in reality, I spent hours highlighting pages nightly and studied my brains out for every quiz. I was a closet nerd. When it came to things like extra-curricular activities, I did what everyone did and said that I was only a member of clubs X.Y, and Z because I wanted to get into a good college. Lies. There a lot of causes that I really care about, but just like my planner, I tried to keep them concealed at all times. I wanted to be cool and carefree. I still do. But, I wonder, does being cool mean rejecting everything important to me? I hope not.
At Bowdoin, I talk a lot in class (probably too much) and I am involved in a lot of clubs and activities on campus. I still get embarrassed sometimes by how much I care about the things I do and the classes I take because a part of me still wants to be the high school cool kid. I worry that people will think it’s weird that I think hanging out with my ten-year-old mentee is a blast, that I really want to get to know the quiet kid in my English class, or that I’m forfeiting three hours of my Thursday nights to Safe Space training. Coming to Bowdoin has presented me with an overwhelming number of opportunities to get involved, meet new people, and learn. College can be everything I was told it would be, but it’s up to me to make it count.
High school was fun, but pretending to be self-absorbed was boring and stupid. I am interested in a lot of things and I know everyone at Bowdoin is. We do each other an enormous disservice by trying to make ourselves the same. College is a time to stand out, to learn from others and to teach others. Don’t be afraid to pursue and endorse the things that matter to you. Partying is fun, gossip happens, dancing is a great way to burn cals and meet hotties; but there are a lot of other unique things we can each bring to Bowdoin. Make yourself proud and be proud to be yourself.