Some looks are hard to pull off, and others just fail every time. Just as some men cling onto jorts way past their prime time (middle school), women hold onto dumb fashion trends that Cosmo convinced you were good looking. Tell me something, why has your romper still failed to be complimented on by someone of the male gender? If you want to defend it as being comfortable, we can slightly agree, just don’t try to tell me you actually think it looks good. Remember how crucial a first impression is when meeting someone? Well, if you commit these fashion sins, there could still be hope. I’ve met a few women wearing such things that I’ve overlooked. If you have a boyfriend, different rules apply. If you want to keep your boyfriend, the same rules still apply. And yes, I realize the ladies of the HCUCF staff are going to hate me for this but here it goes.
Rompers
The name itself could be used as a good name for a bunny, and that is the only value the romper contributes to humanity. It had its popularity back in the 1950’s and SOMEHOW has come back as “fashionable.” Ladies… a romper is not sexy. It reminds me of weird overalls, which are the last thing I’d ever want to see my lady in. Since it is essentially a one piece of clothing, any curves you may have are turned into a lifeless blob of shirt and shorts. I’ve yet to see a girl pull it off, and don’t expect to anytime soon.
Uggs
The best joke ever told about uggs: “When it’s frustrating out, I like to wear my ugggghhh boots.” -Dave F.
I’m sure these are all the rage in Cali or NYC where it actually gets cold, but these have no place in Florida. Your gigantic over sized snow boots don’t look good. I hope you at least bought the fake ones and didn’t fork over $100+ for them. Plus the fur tends to smell gross.
(Maybe because I grew up in a very Jewish town, I’m not as fully against these boots as most men. They can look good on an already cute girl.. the sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on, type. She’s probably a snow bunny too).
Rain Boots
If it is literally raining cats AND dogs outside, you’re using an umbrella, and you’re in a rush… then you get a pass. Otherwise there is no reasonable situation to wear rain boots in. Maybe you got them cheap at the Salvation Army, that’s great. Enjoy the sugar high of buying your “cute” boots and leave them in the closet. Rain boots are for MEN, who are working outside in the worst conditions.
Over Sized Sunglasses aka “Bug Goggles”
You are not Lauren Conrad, and you do not look cute in oversized sunglasses. There is no reason your glasses need to be as big as your hangover. Plus nothing screams “high maintenance” like your big Versace bugs, just saying. Normal sized sunglasses look so great, why mess up such a good thing?
I hate to be harsh, but that’s reality baby. If I can save at least one girl from ever letting that romper leave her closet again, then my job is well done. Stay tuned for the next edition of “Fashion Trends That Men HATE”.