As a senior, I don’t know that I can say I’m older and wiser. But there are a few things I can look back on and wish I’d known or been sure of as a freshman. I have no huge regrets from Freshman year, but it’s the little things that make a difference. I interviewed fellow senior girls to get more input. Here’s what a few of us came up with.
1. “You’re not the only one.” I know this is the oldest adage in the book, but it actually is true. In almost every experience you have as a freshman, you’re most likely not the only one. Not trying to make you feel less special, but everyone has pretty similar feelings freshman year. If you’re homesick, you’re definitely not alone. If you’re stressed, you actually have three classes above you filled with people who feel the same. If you’re lonely, I promise there are many more who are too. These feelings are all part of getting comfortable at Rhodes, and on your own, in general. We’ve all been there, and there are lots with you right now. So don’t be scared to admit any of these things, I’m betting you’ll find someone in the same boat or lying.
2. Professors aren’t high school teachers. Professors really do want to meet you. (For the most part.) Professors aren’t like most of your high school teachers or coaches. Make friends with professors; get to know them. They’re pretty cool. And they’re very smart. (And you’ll need recommendations someday – or lots). Don’t go too far though- that’s creepy. But getting to know your professors is one of the great things about a school this size!
3. If you don’t know your major, it’s ok. It’s jus the only question people know to ask. If you did not walk through the doors knowing exactly what you want to do with your life, or even what you want to do for the next four years, that’s perfectly Ok. And I promise, “you’re not alone.” Part of college is figuring that out. Don’t feel like you’re behind. You just got here. I will say: it is good to be thinking about what you want to do. It would be good to have some idea or goal to be working toward. But you don’t need to know freshman year.
4. Don’t hide behind a boy. Boys are great. They’re usually pretty cool. But, don’t hide behind them. Lots of girls come in, find a guy they like and then spend all their time with him and never get to know other people. College is a great time for friends. Never again will you live with so many of your closest friends. So go ahead, have your boyfriend, but don’t let him be your only friend. Freshman year is the opportune time to make friends cause you are all in the same place of wanting/needing new friends. Don’t miss that opportunity. Guys are really great, but don’t depend on them to be everything; you need friends as well.
5. Breathing in (and out of) the Rhodes bubble. Some people love it; some people hate it. Either way you feel, it’s ok. If you hate it—get out. There’s a lot to see in Memphis; enjoy the city. If you love it- great! Enjoy. Spend every moment here. It doesn’t mean you’re miserable if you don’t love the bubble though. There’s more to Rhodes than just the bubble inside the gates; get to know the city, go volunteer, go to classes outside of the college. There’s lots to see.
6. Don’t look for your life long friends. This is not to say don’t make lifelong friends. By this, I just mean, don’t look for them. They generally just happen. Don’t think of each person, “Is this that person who will be in my wedding?” “Is this going to be my college friend?” Just make friends. You figure out who those people are over time.
7. Upperclassmen are nice. I was given this one by a friend, but it’s true. We are. Don’t be scared of us. This isn’t high school where you’re “raw meat” (even if it feels like it). Generally we really do want to get to know you, we’re just a little caught in our patterns. So. Don’t be scared of us. We don’t bite.
8. Don’t commit just because you’re needed. This is a mistake that is very easy to make at Rhodes. There are lots of opportunities to get involved—that doesn’t mean you have to take every one. Figure out which clubs or groups you actually want to really be a part of or really dig into, then commit. Just because there’s a spot, doesn’t mean you have to fill it. Participate in causes that really matter to you. If you do this you’ll do a better job and also when people ask you about it you won’t just shrug your shoulders and say, “Oh, they needed someone.”
9. Try to find your passion(s). This goes along with the preceding comment. I don’t know that you’ll necessarily find them, but look for your passions. They’re valuable things. These are the things you randomly get excited about or spend your free time doing or your procrastination time wanting to do. No passion is too small or too big. Find what it is or what they are and go for it – whatever that may look like.
10. It passes quickly – ENJOY! Now, some of you may be only enjoying and may not need anyone to tell you that anymore. Some of you may not be enjoying at all. If you’re anything like I was freshman year (and there are a good deal here at Rhodes), you sit in the library till all hours of the night, you make sure you have every word read for your reading assignments, you start on your paper three weeks early and take it to the professor five times, and you frequently use the excuse, “I have to go do homework” to leave social situations. Now, there’s a nice balance. I’m not a proponent of failing out of school. But, make sure you’re getting a balance of school and social life. College really is supposed to be fun – even at Rhodes. Don’t make it miserable. Goof off every once in a while. Don’t let the academics get you down. Get out!
This is not a comprehensive list and I don’t pretend for a second to have figured out any secrets to life. These are merely a few lessons I’ve learned. You can learn them on your own just as well as read them – and sometimes that’s the only way. But maybe some sentence in here was helpful. Good luck!