Let’s get one thing straight. I love the girl I roomed with last semester with all my heart. She’s a dear friend, and I’d kick anyone’s butt who dared harm her in front of me. With that being said, last semester was a learning experience. These three lessons should be learned the easy way – through my experiences, and not yours – if at all possible:
1. If she says she’s “pretty clean,” she’s lying.
When you’re talking to a prospective roommate, keep in mind that she’s probably trying to help everything go smoothly, so she’s likely to exaggerate a few things… especially her state of cleanliness. Watch for non-committal phrases such as: “I’m not that fussy.”, “I don’t really turn the air conditioner up that high.” and my personal favorite, “As long as I have a hamper, I’m really pretty neat.”As much as you love your roommate and friend, you may find that these are all half-truths, and the hamper will stay filled with the same half-clean and half-dirty cocktail of laundry for several weeks as you wonder when your nasal passages will defrost.
2. She’s just as lost as you are.
Attention freshmen collegiettes: every other 18-year-old on campus is exactly as confused and alone as you are, even if they pretend not to be. Even if boys and their new sorority sisters surround them, even if they’re making straight A’s and Deans’ lists and have an awesome scholarship, they are still trying to find their place, just like you. Sometimes being a good friend means not letting them fool themselves into thinking they can do it all. In a relationship that involves living in a tiny room for a few months with nothing but a jar of peanut butter and a Disney Princess poster between you, you’re going to know an awful lot about each other. You’re going to know about the breakups, the boys, the tests and the stress. You should cut some slack about her need to spill her guts. Be patient, and be supportive. She’s just as lost as you are.
3. A semester can be longer than it seems.
I loved my roommate last semester. We were friends when we moved in, and we were friends when I had to move out. Don’t expect your roommate to be the same person at Christmas that she was during the first few weeks of school. Both of you will grow and change, perhaps together or further apart. Both of those are okay. You’re not kids anymore.
In order to survive in a college dorm, you must be flexible. You must allow for change and growth, even when it hurts. Most importantly, you must be patient. The semester will grow longer as it progresses, but the rest of your life dwarfs your time in the dorm. Sit back, relax, and learn something from the person on the other side of the peanut butter jar.