We ladies are walking contradictions. I guess men can be too, sometimes, but the further I dive into the topic of men and women, the more I start to believe that men are in fact from Mars and women from Venus. And things on Venus are always more complicated. It’s in their bylaws.
Anyway, a contradiction is ‘a statement, or phrase that asserts or implies both the truth and falsity of something.’ It’s when you buy a plastic water bottle and then drive your Hummer to a ‘go green’ convention; when you proclaim “I’m a hipster” as you throw on your Vineyard Vines pullover and tie your Bean Boots; when you tweet “JMU Parking Services just made my day #honkifyoulovetickets.” But what about when it comes to love and dating? Geesh, it’d be a contradiction in itself to say that wasn’t included!
College is the time to figure out what we want, what we don’t want, what we, wait, actually do want again, what we really, really do want back now, and what we wait ohmigosh I don’t want it anymore!! We’re all a little bit indecisive about what we’re looking for when it comes to love. One day we say we’d enjoy the company of a boyfriend, the next we make like Sammi Sweetheart and don’t shut up about how “done” we are with the whole opposite species. Isn’t it peculiar though, that even when we say out loud what we want, it’s often proven wrong when the opportunity arises?
There are two main contradictions that stick out to me (and they should to you too; they’re in bold) about what we say we want and what we really we want.
#1: I DON’T want you to want me… when I DO want you
Wiz Khalifa couldn’t have put it better when he sang, “Most girls try to hide the fact it’s the thrill they chasin’.” Let’s not forget girls produce testosterone too. (You had to have learned more than just STD’s with Sutton!) Albeit, the amount is not significant enough to make us want to wrestle our friends every five seconds, or make us proficient in artillery language (pew! Pew!), but it’s enough to give us that competitive edge.
If the relationship falls smoothly into place right off the bat, it can get real boring, real quick – even creepy. Having a guy express too much interest upon the first date can land him in the “stage-5 clinger” category. We always want what we can’t have because it’s more fun to work for it. Problem is, once we finally get the guy, we lose interest.
Huzzah! The chase is over! I won! I’ve gotten you to like me back! Now I’m bored and am seeking a new thrill. But wait, where are you going? Youcan’t go off wanting to find a new hot conquest too…
#2: I DO want you to want me…. when I DON’T want you
When it’s easy to see that the guy also wants out, it means we are no longer in control of the relationship. He could easily pick up his bags and walk off – and that is scary. No one wants to be the dumpee! A common problem for us girls, though, is that we tend to stay in the relationship even when we start to see this happening. We end up looking like helpless puppy dogs trying to win back the guy’s affection, just so we can come out on top again.
Plus, it’s always nice to feel desired. Admit it: Complaining at the dining hall to your friends, “Ugh! Omg! Alejandro just won’t stop texting me!” is one of your guilty pleasures. Alejandro may be seriously annoying, but the infinite amount of emoticons he sends you is a great confidence boost. Poor Alejandro. Maybe he should scroll up to number one.
I don’t get it! Why is he not texting me back? Why is he not taking my calls? Why is his ringback tone that wretched song by Jet?
Uh oh. Maybe it’s your turn to scroll up. It’s a cycle of contradictions, collegiettes, and there’s no saying when it will stop. It’s up to you; you either want it or you don’t or you don’t but you do or you do but you don’t. Do I contradict myself?
SOURCES
www.merriam-webster.com
http://thecollegecrush.com/2012/01/are-you-a-walking-contradiction/