With summer right around the corner, the question on every girl’s mind lately is, “How do I keep the guy I’ve been hooking up with for the past two months around during the summer?” However long it has been, you and your boy have somehow managed to get past that one night stand, grove make-out session and turn what you two have into something a little more…routine. You spend almost every night in his room or vice versa if you were smart enough to not loft your bed. You may or may not hold hands. He brings you breakfast in the morning. Basically, he gives you enough attention for it to be justified for you to call you guys a “thing.” In our world today, a “thing” means that girl and boy are “talking” or are inexplicitly together without explicitly making it known. That’s right, you guys are the step before the major step – Facebook relationship status. But as the semester winds down to a close you can’t help but shake that underlying feeling that all of this could end the moment he steps on that plane. If you’re lucky enough you found a guy who isn’t too far from where you’re from but in most cases the distance between you two is anything but close. So if you’re sitting on your futon, freaking out about what to do, never fear, I’ve got some tips up my sleeve that might help you snag his commitment – at least until the summers up.
Step 1: Show him what he’ll be missing
Whether for you that means stepping up the intimacy or simply stepping out a little bit more in your cute South Beach bikini, give him a little something extra. Summer is a three month separation period, during which he will be exposed to exes, new and somewhat desperate graduated seniors and his friends who suddenly got ten times hotter since high school. You, in these last few weeks of school, need to show him that you are worth the wait and better than any ex or new girl he might come across. When he sees a hot girl in a bikini, it needs to be your face that appears in his mind on that girl’s body. Give him some of the Miami girl flare every school knows we have, I guarantee no other girl could begin to compete.
Step 2: Take a little more interest in his interests
You may have tolerated his sickening FIFA obsession or his inability to tear his eyes away from the screen when a UFC fight comes on but from now until August, you are going to love it. Boys love the girls who love what they love. So, when he’s not around teach yourself enough FIFA to be able to score at least one goal against him or a friend (and trust me this could take a while. Especially if, like me, you are technologically challenged in the world of video games) and then when the opportunity arises, challenge him. The thought of girls being decent in any kind of video game is damn near impossible to fathom. If FIFA really isn’t your thing then read up on some of his favorite UFC fighters, baseball, basketball, football teams-you get the point- so that when the time comes, you can show your boy that your more than just glitz, glam and a hot body-he’ll definitely note that your worth keeping around.
Step 3: Do something spontaneous
What I find happening in most spring to summer flings is that they lose a certain spark, mostly due to the distance, but in more times than not, the spark starts dimming even before the distance is created. It happens right around the time you guys settle into some kind of routine. Although yes, boys will mostly go along with it, because routine means they know exactly when and where they are going to be getting it. This same kind of routine can’t be done when summer comes along. So before you turn into Mrs. Reliable, change it up on him. Do something he’s least expecting, whether that be taking a trip to the Keys, buying tickets to the zoo, trying out a new position in the bedroom, or even cooking him his favorite home cooked meal; do something that will catch him off guard, it’ll make him appreciate you that much more.
Step 4: Avoid your emotions at all costs.
I know this step in particular is hard for girls when all we want to do is be honest and upfront with him and tell him how much you still want to be with him over summer. In the eyes of a man, ladies this is a screaming, neon red flag that tells him to run as far and as quickly as he can. You need to show him that you don’t need him over summer; that you won’t turn into that girl who is constantly blowing up his phone, his twitter, his Facebook, his everything. You need to play it cool and in the words of Steve Harvey’s bestselling book: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, make it known that you aren’t opposed to the idea of staying together but clearly don’t need to because you have other options awaiting back home. You being so nonchalant about staying together will cause him to want to after all. If we have learned nothing about boys, it’s that they always want what they can’t have and, though yes, in this situation he technically already has you, he’ll work twice as hard if he thinks there is even the possibility of someone else taking what was his to begin with.
There’s a good chance that all or none of these steps won’t work and your summer fling could very well end. But if you two truly do have some sort of connection, more often than not, at least one of these steps will be enough to keep him during summer. At some point though, you really need to ask yourself, with new boys coming next fall and old friends returning home, do you yourself really want someone in the back of your mind if you do happen to slip up during summer? College is about exploring your options and maybe settling down senior year. Summer is about taking chances, making mistakes and yes sometimes kissing them but that’s the fun about being our age; we’re old enough to know better but more often than not too young to care.