Desperately trying to understand the inscrutable mind of the college male? Real Live College Guy Joel (replete with a name way cooler than those of RLCGs Joe and Joey) is here to help you out, call you out, write you a poem to show you you’re great, etc. From major emotional drama to the minutiae of social interaction, use him as your one-stop shop for guy advice.
There’s a guy I’ve known and liked for a couple months. We’re friends, but I would like for the friendship to be something more. I really like this guy, but I know it will be difficult to make things happen since we’re on opposite sides of the country this summer. I’m not trying to rush into a relationship, but I would like for that to be the end result. With that being said, would it be too forward to start a conversation through Facebook so he doesn’t forget about me? Or should I wait until the fall to better the friendship in person?
-Miss Forget-Me-Not from Mizzou
Miss Forget-Me-Not,
There is an awkward, sometimes painful uncertainty to the stasis of a summer spent apart from the person for whom you have feelings. Unfortunately, there is only so much you can do about it now, so you first need to ensure that you aren’t letting your longing for this guy become an obsession. Throw yourself into your summertime activities, be it working a job, traveling, getting your tan on or watching True Blood. Commit yourself to whatever you are involved in and don’t allow yourself to pine. Also, if any romantic opportunities arise during the summer, don’t be afraid to pursue them just because you yearn for someone living somewhere else. He may be seeing someone during the summer months, so don’t close the door on the possibility of seeing another guy.
Keeping this in mind, I would be optimistic about your chances with this guy. You have a friendship, but there is potential for it to grow into a relationship. You should absolutely send him a Facebook message or even text or call to ask how his summer is going. Girls tend to worry too much about being too forward. If he’s your friend, it’s perfectly normal to inquire into how he is and to show he has been on your mind.
It’s important to do something to maintain your rapport over the summer months, as opposed to just trying to pick it up in person in the fall. Facebook is a great way to do this because it is casual, yet people check it every day – giving you two the opportunity to have a good correspondence. Plus, with a text message or phone call, you never know when you will be contacting him at a busy moment; with Facebook, he will be able to take the time to respond to your message. He may respond enthusiastically or even begin to initiate communication with you in the future. This would give both of you the perfect springboard to get to know each other better through Facebook chat, texts and, eventually, in person back at school.
With that, I would also say don’t contact him too frequently or be too emotionally open in your interaction, at the risk of freaking him out. But you seem to be pretty levelheaded and restrained, with a healthy aversion to rushing things. If anything, you need to put yourself out there a little bit more. Don’t be afraid to Facebook message or text him, “This happened, and it reminded me of that time the group of us were trapped in that bar for four hours haha,” etc. Lightly let him know you’re thinking of him while still obscuring the deeper feelings that may be bubbling under your chill and relaxed surface. Be cautious without letting your anxiety hold you back.
Sources
http://www.eurweb.com/?p=45969