The question, “Why didn’t he call?” is like asking “What time is it?” You ask your girlfriends, guy friends and sometimes your parents for opinions as to why a guy hasn’t called you—you think to yourself “Maybe he lost my number? OMG what if something bad has happened to him!? Uhhh I just wish he would call me already!” The thoughts and presumptions are endless! To help you figure it out, we compiled a little list for you. (Men may be from Mars and Women from Venus, but there are a few things we can agree on, as you’ll see below.)
The Reasons Why He Never Called:
He Says: You talked too much
Sometimes people talk too much. You either shared too much information that freaked him out or you were talking continuously and he couldn’t get a word in edge wise. How would you feel if someone bombarded you with a bunch of personal information, such as crazy family problems, your wide variety of ex-relationships, or how you cried for days because your cat Mr. Snuggles died and you even teared up and started bawling during your date. Regardless of what you said, it’s not a great foundation to start a relationship on. You need to leave your guy wanting more, instead of leaving him with a feeling of relief because your date is finally over and he never has to talk to you again.
He Says:You slept with him on the first date
Sometimes things happen. Things move fast and one minute your meeting the guy having dinner, the next minute you’re laying in his bed. Guys like sex a lot, BUT if they are serious about you, they would want to wait. My theory is a guy is more willing to take you seriously if you wait because if you show constraint with him, it means you will show constraint when you are around other guys. If he knows he can bed you in the first date, it means you have done this with other guys, and you will likely do it in the future. To save himself the trouble, he writes you off immediately, even if you do have a great personality. If you are looking for more than a fling then DON’T SLEEP WITH HIM ON THE FIRST DATE. Once again, the leave him wanting more principle applies here!
She Says: It’s Not Me, It’s YOU! If it’s your first time hanging out with a guy DON’T tell your life story UNLESS he wants to know. Just make sure to leave something for your possible next date with the guy. Also, if you make out or sleep with him the first night, don’t expect a call back. From that point on you’ll either be known as the girl that talks too much or a booty call. The cure: Be mysterious. Don’t give in too fast. Let him discover you. Talk to him like he’s a regular guy—because that’s exactly what he is!
He Says:You lied about something, and he found out…
Nothing is a bigger deal breaker than you lying about something. One of my biggest pet peeves is lying. I understand we all do it and we all have our reasons for doing so, but this is one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make in any type of relationship. If you lie about something minor, it plants the seeds of suspicion, and the guy thinks if she can lie to me about something small and silly like that, what else is she lying to me about? If you lie about something major, he’s just going to want to be done with your dramatic life. Cut the drama, surround yourself with decent people and start living a more truthful life. You can cultivate the flower of love by fertilizing with kindness and truth, however if you poison it with lies, it’s going to die and then you have nothing left except crappy soil and a dead plant!
She Says: He’s taking things slow. So you two talk to each other every night, but suddenly the calls stop. Things could be moving faster than he’d like and that can put him in an uncomfortable position.
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She Says: He has someone else on the brain. Sometimes jumping right into a relationship is hard to do. He may have some loose ends to tie up before getting involved with someone else. If he’s a good guy, and you really like him it’s your chance to practice patience! Just know when it’s time to move on.
She Says: He’s just not that into you. What else is there to say? If you know the chemistry isn’t there (trust me, you’ll know!) don’t make excuses. Yeah, he’s cute and has a great personality but that’s not always enough to seal the deal. If you two have nothing in common or can’t have an effortless conversation don’t stress.
He Says: He likes you, but not in that way
He actually likes you, but not in the way that he wants to go on a date with you. There’s something about you that is promising, and you have something in common, but at the same time he just knows it’s not going to work out. Fear not, the fact that you can make new friends means you are likable and someday a guy will pull you out of the friend zone and into a relationship. Just be patient.
He Says: He’s busy
Sometimes life happens. Sometimes guys have a million papers due, and he has to pull together a presentation, and he has to work a lovely job in order to pay for all this misery. Sorry calling you isn’t on the top of his priority list. If he is that busy, at least it shows he is ambitious, however that may not comfort the fact that he isn’t really boyfriend material right now… maybe 10 years down the road when he’s a partner at a law firm he will be ready… or maybe not! If you want something now, don’t wait because you will look back and see how much time you wasted on this guy and you will see that you looked like a fool and I guarantee you that you will tell your kids and grandkids about how you fell in love with him and wasted a decade chasing after him while he left you in the dust.
She Says: He’s simply busy. He has a life too you know! If you’re just starting to get to know him, and don’t know his schedule exactly—relax. Of course it wouldn’t hurt to send a text or call but its guys we’re talking about! This brings us to the biggest thing girls don’t seem to realize…
She Says: He doesn’t want to seem desperate! Many guys don’t want to give in too easily. I mean c’mon do you really want a guy who suffocates you with text and calls just to see what you’re doing? Guys can play hard to get, too! They can also be very sensitive to rejection. It is ok to make the first move if it’s been awhile since you two spoke.
He Says: He’s waiting for you to call him
Girl, what are you doing still reading this article? GO CALL HIM! Seriously, times have changed; girls now have a voice and the ability to do what they please. If you are interested and he doesn’t call be sure to call him and demand an explanation. Don’t be obsessive and mean about it because that might just freak him out a little bit, but if you call it shows you care and that you are interested, which can send some good signals to a guy. However, don’t be calling or texting him constantly. That’s just annoying, limit yourself to one phone call a day, and perhaps one text message a day, if he doesn’t get back to you within a five day period, please do yourself and everyone around you a favor and move on! You will find someone who likes you for who you are, there are many fish in the sea at IUP!
In the end, understand that every guy and situation is different. There’s could be a million and one reasons as to why he didn’t call. You also need to understand that you cannot wait around for a guy to call you! Be willing to take chances, just because it didn’t work out with one fella doesn’t mean it won’t work with another. If he is into you he will call! If he doesn’t call within 24 hours of your last interaction don’t fret. If it’s been 10 days or more, don’t be afraid to move on.