The Trouble with Love Stories
Being single has been one of the most exciting, enlightening places in my entire life. Yeah, I was single before college, but as I said last time, I spent a good chunk of undergrad in a serious relationship, so things look a whole lot different from the other side.
I’ve noticed a rather depressing, disturbing trend in the expectations of us single girls. It seems that a lot of us are waiting around for Prince Charming, for love to happen, and it’s almost like we expect it at every corner. A little logic and an off-switch on the overflowing emotional valve would quickly reveal that this expectation is wildly unrealistic, and it sets us up for incredible disappointment. But good news – I think I know where it stems from.
Every girl, who dreams of the big gestures and the do-gooding saviors, always references how love happens in this book or that movie or some show. Problem is we forget that these stories tell one very small part of a much larger story.
Most love stories start at the beginning, where you find a guy and spend the entirety of the tale trying to get together. Then it’s happily ever after, and the credits roll. You don’t usually see the years spent dating Mr. Wrong, Señor Douchebag, and Mr. Overly Nice & Super Boring. You don’t see the countless nights spent frustrated with not being able to find a good match. Or the slew of one night stands and awful dates, all leaving you feeling empty, tired, and cynical beyond reproach.
And you never see what happens AFTER the happily ever after, either. We see passion, heat, intensity; all those great, wonderful things that happen at the start of every relationship, but we never see people staying in on a Friday night, sitting in sweats, ordering a pizza and watching movies together on the couch. You never see arguing over small minute details that really should not be argued over.
This is the issue. We never have to face reality in these love stories. And with fair reason – it’s fiction.
I’m not saying being endlessly happy with someone isn’t possible, it’s just rare, and it definitely doesn’t happen every single day. I told Sis the other day, “The problem is, your dreams are wildly unrealistic and guarantee you disappointment and unhappiness because TV and movies don’t depict love accurately. We’ve come to expect a happy ending with every crush and every relationship because the stories we see always end that way.”
That’s not to say don’t dream – but when you do, dream within reason. Love the small gestures more than the grandiose ones. Sure, big gestures are great, but if you can find happiness in the day-to-day things, your relationship will fair better.
I know SGD is all about single life adventures, one night hook-ups, and having a good time, but at some point, you’ll find someone you’re nuts about. When that day comes, take a chance, keep your head on straight, and always remember to laugh.
Best of luck, Single Girls. It’s a tough world out there.
X’s & O’s,
Suz
photo source: http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/happily-ever-after.jpg