Just this past week, I came across an article posted online that made me slam my laptop shut and shake my head in utter disbelief. I never thought I could be moved to such disgust so quickly. Matt Forney proved me wrong though when he offensively wrote and posted his argument “The Case Against Female Self-Esteem” on his blog. Forney had no shame in saying, “I’m just going to come out and say it: I love insecure women.” In being confident, we are supposedly going against our “natural biological and social functions.” He believes that women that are strong and independent are not only misconstrued in their confidence, but also are unattractive for being such. Forney goes so far as to come up with reasons for why women should be discouraged from having confidence. This man could not be more wrong.
I believe in women empowerment. Women are just as capable and worthy as men to have a place in this world to express their thoughts, which are often brilliant. Long gone are the days of male superiority. Women are taking a myriad of roles that prove their talents, adaptabilities and power. Esteem is a self-built characteristic and is therefore available and functional in both men and women, if society supports its growth. In response to your arguments, Mr. Forney, I would like to offer a rebuttal.
1. “Most girls have nothing to deserve self-esteem.”
- According to Forney, to gain respect, and in connection self-esteem, we need to achieve something and he thinks women have achieved nothing. Excuse me? Who are you to measure achievement? Look at colleges and universities around the country; take a peek at the mere number of women in the armed services; admire the mothers who manage a household and a job on minimum wage; watch the number of women on “Most Powerful” lists worldwide rise; listen to the words and lyrics of truly brilliant female artists. Shall I continue? Women are making achievements, not by arbitrary standards, but with true gains. And in my opinion, the highest measurement of achievement is how one feels about themselves. I feel a sense of self-achievement is the strongest predictor of esteem and until you step into our heels and know how we feel about ourselves, you have no right to say what we deserve or don’t deserve.
2. “Insecurity is integral to femininity.”
- My blood truly boiled when I read Forney’s statement that “Confidence doesn’t give men erections; vulnerability does.” Is that a real statement? Have you ever had a woman appreciate you for that mindset? Females are NOT the weaker sex and relationships are no longer seen as male-dominated. Relationships are relating with each other. Femininity is defined as “the quality of being female” and last time I checked, there is a vast array of different types of females and therefore it is difficult to define what is integral. In my opinion, the only integral part based off the definition is biological and insecurity has nothing to do with that!
3. “Women don’t want to have self-esteem.”
- According to Forney, the feminist culture is a lie because we “need” men in order to survive and this need is not possible if we have self-esteem. We do not “need” men nor do we need their attention in order to survive. The real lie is the stereotypical girl crying over the phone and begging for a boy’s attention. Sure we have come across this girl, but have we not come across boys who also go the extra mile to get a girl or the girl who is better off after ending a relationship with a guy that didn’t treat her right? Desperateness is a trait found in both sexes. Self-esteem is also not a choice and therefore it cannot be decided whether we want it or not.
Women ARE strong and independent. Sure we have issues, sure we get emotional, and sure some men hold higher jobs than us, but then again we could say the same thing about males. Self-esteem is defined as “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect” and since you are not a woman you can not validate whether we are worthy of it or not. Whether Mr. Forney eventually changes his position or not, my message is for women to respect yourselves first because sometimes there will be others trying to get you down but it is your self-respect they cannot take away.
Sources:
www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary
http://mattforney.com/2013/09/16/the-case-against-female-self-esteem/
Photo Sources:
www,doblelol.com