Billy Osborn always knew he wanted to go into the Army. But if you passed Billy, a first year graduate student, on the Plaza or the quad, you wouldn’t know that he served in Afghanistan. You might notice his hip glasses or the complex tattoos that decorate the full span of each of his arms, and think he was just a typical Dukie (with a little edge).
But, Billy is far from your average Blue Devil. He is magnetic and unconventional, with a biting wit and stark determination. Billy grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where the drug scene and a lack of opportunity offered little incentive for the cerebral Billy to stay. Unlike his close friends in high school, Billy avoided the drug scene and escaped in self-professed nerddom. He loved “comic books, reading history books, listening to Metallica…angry teenager stuff.” Billy also delved into his interest in political and foreign affairs, which led him to seek out the Army. Although he experienced tension from his family about enlisting, he knew he would do whatever it took to pursue what he felt passionate about.
Billy enlisted on his 18th birthday, when he could legally join for the first time on his own. After starting basic training, Billy found that he adjusted naturally to the daily system of intense discipline, hard workouts, and regulation. After Billy completed training, he was deployed to Afghanistan as a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne Division. Just a few years later, Billy was seriously injured in an explosion. He was medevac’d to Germany, where doctors diagnosed him with major head injuries. Billy was then taken to Fort Bragg in North Carolina for recovery.
To Billy, readjustment back in the States felt more challenging than his service abroad. Disabled from his severe physical symptoms and emotional trauma from the war, Billy felt like he had failed in his capacity as a soldier. His struggle to resolve his symptoms was worsened by a lack of helpful medical diagnoses and sense of disconnect from those around him.
“My war was like a kiddy fight compared to getting out and having no one to understand what was going on,” Billy told me. “Now, there is so much more awareness. I had no one to relate to.”
Billy also struggles with complicated feelings about his service. Unlike the images of the proud soldier returning home that we see in the media, Billy told me, “when I got out, I put everything that the Army left me with- the uniforms, medals- in a wooden box in my parents basement. I don’t need medals or uniforms to remind me of what I did or a license plate to tell people that I’m a veteran. It’s enough that I know.” Billy continually feels the pangs of guilt because of his survival and the idea that his service gives him opportunities that he doesn’t deserve, such as his scholarship to study at Duke. Billy applied for the graduate program at Duke through a veteran program, after he had moved cities a few times and found working difficult because of his physical conditions. He had visited Duke during his recovery period at Fort Bragg, and thought it seemed “just like Hogwarts.”
“I had to defend myself my whole life for being a nerd,” Billy said. “I know it sounds cliché, but if I could tell myself anything back when I was in high school, I would say that it would all work out. If I had told myself that I’d end up at Duke, I’d have said ‘You’re out of your mind.’ But life has a weird way of working out.”
As midterms are underway and you’re dreaming about Thanksgiving break, don’t forget to step outside your own routine to reach out to someone around you. As Billy reminds us, you never know what the “typical Dukie” just might be going through.