At the beginning of every semester, for the first couple of weeks we make an effort to put on jeans and get ready for class. We pick the perfect spot in class, which we will sit at for the rest of the semester, and scroll through our Twitter feeds as the professor hands out a copy of the syllabus. As the word-for-word reading of the syllabus draws on, we scope out our prospective classmates.
We search for the people actively paying attention that could make possible partner candidates for projects. Then we eliminate the ones with head-on-desk, little puddle of drool accumulation, and decide that maybe they are not the best choice for future assignment endeavors. Finally, with out a doubt, we narrow down and look around the room for your “fall semester crush.” So, who’s going to be the lucky guy this year?
I don’t care if you’re single, taken, or on the verge of marriage, we all look for those people who are most attractive in class, whether its on appearance or the intelligent way they speak their mind in front of the class. You don’t necessarily have to be in love with the person, but you wouldn’t mind being on a first-name basis.
After you’ve decided who is worth your secret attention, what’s next? Oh, of course we all know Blackboard isn’t just for studies. As creepy as it sounds, and as much as you will never admit it, you’ve gone on the Blackboard class directory to look up the name of this person. Once you systematically find the name through the use of Facebook, you want to see if the person is actually that great. Cross your fingers that his page isn’t set on private because you don’t dare add him (especially with no mutual friends!), and you look through the profile pictures. Any sign of d-baggery and you’re out of there.
What is “d-baggery” you ask? Just those guys who think they’re complete womanizers, when in fact, they are getting no women (any self-respecting women, let’s call them girls). A couple signs include, but are not limited to: the obsessive Affliction or Ed Hardy graphic design endless wardrobes, really, how many different types of crosses and eagles can you get on one shirt…? Also, big diamond stud ear piercings, the too-much-gel-for-your-own-good hairstyle, the what-tribe-are-you-on tribal tattoos, or I don’t know, maybe tattoos that use basic slang such as “YOLO.” If you need more examples just look up the hot shot from your high school who was the biggest jerk in class.
Anyway, after you’ve made sure that he’s probably okay to continue having a crush on, based on the totally real representation of a Facebook profile, you decide to keep your subtle eye on him in class. This doesn’t mean awkwardly stare at, but you notice things about him that add to reasons why you have taken an interest. Maybe he shows the utmost respect for the professor, maybe he actually answers questions in class, maybe he opens doors for strangers, maybe he offers pencils to those who forgot theirs, or maybe he just wears really nice smelling cologne. I can almost see you smiling as you’re thinking of this person while reading this.
So, it’s mid-semester and you’re stressing over schoolwork, and wondering how and why a 100-level course is so hard. Your mind starts to stray onto the many other things happening in your life. It’s probably starting to snow by now (Michigan, smh), and your biggest concern lies within the question of if you’re going to slip on ice on the walk to class or not.
As soon as you know it, it’s Thanksgiving break and you only have a week before finals week. Where did the time go? The whole semester you told yourself that you had the whole semester to make your move, and at least introduce yourself to the kid. Now, it’s the holidays, and everyone is “wife-ing” up, and you’re feeling like you need a new connection. Is it too late now? How’s that conversation going to work? “Hey, we’ve been in the same class all semester and I would like to introduce myself before we never see each other again,” real smooth. Maybe you already had an awkward encounter that didn’t go exactly as you had planned. You probably saw him at some party on Main St. and with no inhibitions you said, “Hey, you’re in my class!” Don’t you hate when that happens?
Finals week is approaching, and the hope of even exchanging first names is slowly getting distant. The question is: how do you do it? If you have the answer, please tell us all. If not, all I can say is: it’s all or nothing.
You can either approach him and say hi, or just let it be your crush and end it at that. What do you have to lose? Chances are you probably won’t see him again. Then again, it’s a small world and you might have to run into him for a couple dreadful seconds of your life, but you will get over it. The only thing you’re going to get out of this situation is to live and learn. Next time maybe you will have the courage to sit next to this cutie within the first week of classes, or maybe you won’t.
Or maybe you decide you hate everybody and talk to no one.