It’s winter time again! The birds are chirping as they head down south, hot chocolate is being guzzled by the gallon and, of course, it is impossible to forget about the snowy rain that takes over the northeast. The beauty of winter gets to everyone, which is why cuddling or staying in bed becomes the popular choice among student couples. The act of sharing personal space to stay warm is a smart idea, unless it is being taken to the extreme. For some reason during the winter months, couples seem to get the idea that they should express how they feel about each other publicly. This would be perfectly fine if they were only giving quick pecks here and there, or a three-second hug before their first class. Let’s face it, everyone needs to feel loved and needed sometimes. The actual act of expression isn’t horrible but how it is being expressed is what tends to be the problem for the public.
Everyday my eyes are accosted with couples salivating all over each other in public; this ranges from a simple make-out session to full on groping. Like I said, public displays of affection are not a huge problem, but there are some things that should be kept behind closed doors. Extreme PDA is a lot like a car crash. You want to look away from the ghastly scenes, but you just can’t turn your head. Aren’t sure if you and your significant other are taking it too far? Keep reading!
You know you engage in extreme PDA if…
1. Your mouth feels as if you have been licked by a Saint Bernard. You are engaging in extreme PDA. Tongue!? Really? Is that really necessary in the context of showing your affection? You thought it was appropriate in some way, shape, or form to stick your tongue down someone’s throat whilst standing on the sidewalk waiting for the bus? People have enough difficulties trying to get to their destination without Josie and her Pussycat getting busy in the middle of Fifth Avenue.
2. People are either A) telling you to “get a room,” or B) staring awkwardly at you and your partner. Have you ever seen a lion mangling a mongoose? That’s kind of what it looks like. People don’t know whether they should step in and help before someone gets eaten.
3. After you depart from your “sugar,” you feel the need to check your neck to see if you have a hickey: extreme PDA. There is absolutely no reason for you to be sucking necks so hard that someone gets injured. It’s all fun and games until someone pops a blood vessel. Unless you’re Edward Cullen and you’re using your partner as your own personal lunch pale, I’m gonna need you to reel it in a little bit.
4. You, or your significant other, have to make dual trips to the bathroom to make sure nothing is A) popping out, B) sticking up, or C) dripping/leaking. Life is not a permanent red light district. You may think people can’t see what’s going on under the table in the cafeterias, but they do—you know you should not be doing that with your french fries.
All I ask is for you to consider your audience before you engage in such actions. I’m sure the idea of going an entire hour without seeing your “bay” is excruciating. You don’t know when you’ll see them again. Things may not be the same an hour and fifteen minutes later, so you must kiss them as if you’ll never see them again. I get it — but please think of the children! How are the Pitt Pathfinders supposed to describe this on their tours? “Welcome to the University of Pittsburgh, where you can study the art of French Architecture and the art of unclasping a bra with one hand, all in one building.” Yes it is a little far-fetched, but not that far off.
I’m not saying that PDA shouldn’t happen at all; by all means, if you have someone special in your life, let them know that you care. I enjoy a few smooches here and there as well, but there’s a fine line between missing someone and making people feel incredibly uncomfortable… or turned on (I don’t judge #voyeurism). You can get the same point across with just a simple kiss on the lips and a strong hug that doesn’t result in a hand on someone’s butt. It’s simple, elegant, and leaves them wanting more. Remember, even Victoria had her secrets.