Dear Collegiettes,
The other day I was reading about a group of people living in West Sumatra (an island of Indonesia) called the Minangkabau. The Minangkabau are an Islamic people, primarily rice farmers with a rich history and culture spanning hundreds of years.
What interested me most, however, about the Minangkabau is that they are the largest matrilineal group in the world. This means that the father is not the patriarch (or head) of the household among the Minangkabau people. Inheritance, such as houses, livestock, land, and other forms of wealth are passed to the daughters of the family, according to anthropologist Evelyn Blackwood. Lineage is traced through the mother’s side of the family rather than the father’s and wives bring their husbands home to live with them rather than going to live with their husbands. Traditionally, daughters are sent out in search of a husband, but among the Minangkabau people, the sons are sent out.
Education is very important to the Minangkabau people and, though most Minangkabau women get married, they generally finish secondary school by the age of 19. The Minangkabau’s emphasis on education and matrilineal culture intrigued me so much because it led me to think about the psychological condition of the Minangkabau women. I wondered: what is the result psychologically of hundreds of years of this matrilineal, education oriented society on its women?
Which brings us to this week’s topic: I Am Woman.
Reading about the Minangkabau got me thinking. What if America was a matrilineal society? What if we didn’t endure hundreds of years of society telling women that we are inferior to men, that we belong in the kitchen, and that our lot in life is to be barefoot and pregnant? What if we weren’t conditioned and programmed to be seen as and feel like nothing more than those who bear the children and cook the meals? What if.
Marriage and raising children is one of life’s greatest treasures; it is a source of joy and support. But it is not life’s only treasure. Society teaches us as women to aspire to marriage, to strive and strain for a man’s attention until he loves us enough to commit and give us children. Men aren’t taught the same thing, though. They are taught to be successful, to take advantage of everything life has to offer. Men are taught that marriage is the end of life’s journey.
So today, I want to tell you, ladies, to aspire to something different. Go against the grain. Don’t settle for society’s expectations or perceptions of what your life should be. If you want to be a doctor then be a doctor, if you want to travel then travel, and if you want to be a stay-at-home mom then be a stay-at-home mom. Do nothing out of other people’s expectations, live your life for you.
We are women. Society has dictated to us for far too long what we should and shouldn’t be. I challenge you to give society a new definition of womanhood, of femininity.
-Char