Spring and summer are considered prime wedding season and as we get a little older, chances are you’ll be asked to help your friends get ready to walk down the aisle! After the initial excitement of the engagement wears off, you’ll soon realize that being a bridesmaid isn’t just a walk down the aisle in a pretty dress. While having a hand in the planning of a friend’s wedding can be incredibly fun, it can be stressful and decent amount of work, as well. But if you know the ins and outs of bridesmaid-ship, you’ll have a great time and your friendship with the bride will only grow stronger! As wedding season officially kicks off, take our tips into account when your friends call on you to help them tie the knot!
It’s not about you. This is absolutely the most important thing to remember when fulfilling your bridesmaid duties. If the bride wants you in a hideous yellow tulle dress, grin and bear it! Hopefully the bride will take your opinions into account when making decisions about the bridal party but for the most part, it is your friend’s day so you should be amenable to her vision.
Bond with the other bridesmaids. Odds are you’re already familiar with the other girls in the wedding party but if you’re not, do your best to arrange bonding activities so everyone is comfortable with each other! Try scheduling a movie night and watch wedding-related movies such as Bridesmaid and Bachelorette – and take notes! (Seriously, we love those movies but most of those girls are actually terrible bridesmaids so learn what not to do when planning the bachelorette party and trying on dresses.) Creating friendships with the other bridesmaid will not only make your duties more fun but it will also ease the bride’s need to bridge gaps between friends.
Utilize group message or Facebook messaging to keep in touch. Since we’re in college, chances are some of the other bridesmaids won’t be local either so keeping in touch with each other about plans is crucial. You may think planning a bridal shower is easy but try to organizing it with four other girls spread across the country. Start talking about things early so you have plenty of time hash out the details before setting them in stone.
Leave your own opinions at home. Your personal taste may be grand and elegant but the bride may be on a budget or loves a small and rustic theme. Though you can definitely weigh in on the DJ and photographer and help decide the menu, remember this is not your wedding. If you don’t like the venue or the items on her registry, don’t let your disapproval leak out through body language — an eye roll here, a half-hearted shrug and frown there. Your preferences don’t matter, so enthusiastically point out things in her style instead of trying to plan your own dream wedding.
Keep the bride in mind when planning the bachelorette party. This advice often gets overlooked as many bridesmaids plan a wild Vegas weekend or a pub crawl with strippers when the bride is more interested in a wine tasting and a nice dinner. If the bride’s style is more “dancing on tables,” then feel free to rage it up! (Just don’t be sloppy! It’s not the bride or other bridesmaids’ job to take care of you.) But if she really wants a quiet night with her close friends, honor that.
Get familiar with the “Weddings” section of Pinterest. In the digital age, the “do it yourself” trend has taken over the wedding industry, which is great for bridal parties because it could end up saving you a fortune! You can even create a secret pin board and share it with the rest of the bridal party – it’s the best way to share ideas all in one place!
Learn to deal with mothers and mothers-in-law. And aunts and grandmothers and sister-in-laws and even fathers. Seriously, you should be able to list “being a bridesmaid” on your resume for the amount of people skills you need. Everyone is going to have different visions for the wedding which can take a toll on the bride if she’s constantly arguing with her family. Try to mediate and soothe any frayed nerves by offering solutions that everyone will approve of. If that’s just not going to happen, make sure you take the bride out for a cocktail or two.
Handle the grunt work. During the whirlwind of the bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehersal dinner and the ceremony and reception, the bride is going to be busy spending time with her family, enjoying the party and of course, celebrating this next chapter in her life with her new husband. So it will fall to the bridesmaids to handle the lsat-minute chaos that inevitably happens. If Granny Ethel needs a cab to the hotel, make sure you hail one for her and see her off safely. There’s not enough seats at table during the rehersal dinner and Uncle Larry is left standing — be the first to jump up and solve the problem. Take loads of photos, make sure the groomsmen don’t drink too much before the ceremony, introduce guests and keep the bride and groom’s glasses full! The bride will be eternally grateful and you’re friends will be there for you on your special day!
Delegate! If you’re super creative, take charge of the bridal shower games and decorations while the bridesmaid who lives in the city plans the bachelorette party. Discuss your strengths early on so you can divvy up tasks in accordance with people’s skills.
Have fun! Regardless of your role as bridesmaid, a wedding is truly a celebration of two people’s love for one another and one of those people is your best friend! Be happy for them and enjoy the festivities!