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Late Night Ladies: 3 Female Replacements for Letterman

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Kenyon chapter.

Grandpa’s favorite comedian Jerry Lewis famously remarked, “A woman doing comedy doesn’t offend me but sets me back a bit . .  I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.” Yael Kohen uses this quote to introduce her oral history “We Killed: The Rise of Women in American Comedy.” Though Lewis is dated, his opinions about women’s ability in comedy are not. Like a sexy fog, women have invaded most spheres of comedy since Lewis’ mid century heydey, but still have yet to conquer late night.

Two weeks ago, David Letterman announced Stephen Colbert would take over as his replacement on the Late Show. While no one questions Colbert’s capabilities as a comedian, an interviewer, or a host, CBS definitely had a wide range of women available to take the Late Night throne. Colbert is back in the headlines after he appeared on Letterman to do a required selfie this past Tuesday.

The way I see it, there are three key elements to being a successful late night host. The opening monologue requires excellent comic timing, quick delivery, sharp jokes that pack a punch in a one or two sentence response to the headlines. Hosts must also be natural enough to keep the conversation flowing during interviews while still encouraging celebrity guests to make fun of themselves. The last way to win late night is to produce sketches or mid-show bits with lots of viral video potential. When there’s three minutes to fill, extravagant goofiness comes in handy.

Though these websites beat me to the punch, here are my picks for funny femmes CBS could have selected to succeed Letterman’s twenty plus year run: 

1. Tamy Feyler (AKA Tina Fey and Amy Poehler)My obnoxious celebrity couple mash-up name aside, Tina & Amy have proved time and time again that they are powerful hosts with equal dollops of positive confidence and self-deprecating humor to keep things interesting.

Monologue: Tamy Feyler would transition the Late Night host-and-bandleader (a la Letterman & Schaffer) or host-and-sidekick formula (see Conan and Andy Richter) into an era of double hosting. No one needs to be sidelined, because of civil rights. Much like the first time I purchased double-stuffed oreos—I would be transfixed to the screen, knowing I could never go back to the single creme layer of one host. Plus, their time at SNL’s Weekend Update desk prepares them for the rapid fire delivery and topical humor of the late night monologue.

Interviews: Amy and Tina are unbelievably pop culture literate. Whether they are poking fun at Hollywood’s favorite silver-fox-turned-prankster, or calling out society’s assumptions concerning female politicians, Tamy has the perfect balance of authority and lightheartedness that would bring out the more open side of guests.

Sketches: As veterans of improv comedy, Tamy could fearlessly lead The Late Show into an internet-breaking popularity. Between tiny horses and celebrity-studded charity songs, Tina and Amy know what the public wants. However, their crackling wit and experience as Bossypants-clad showrunners suggests that the show would never drift away from their high-quality standards.

2. Mindy KalingWhile I never want her to leave The Mindy Project (which has hit its stride), Mindy’s refusal to follow society’s rule that smart women can’t have guilty pleasures would make for some irresistible late night entertainment. Mindy also shines as one of the only women of color to have, in her words, “her own f*king network television show, OK?” She acknowledges the importance of her groundbreaking leadership without bowing to double standards. She is a warrior.

Monologue: Mindy Kaling has a lot to say, and this universe needs more venues for her to say it. I would be interested to see how Mindy steps outside the boundaries of her character, Dr. Lahiri’s immediately-likeable-yet-seemingly-superficial shoes in order to conquer the political humor required for topical monologues.

Interviews: Mindy’s humble humor combines with a social awareness that taps into the essence of the young, female experience in this era. We find her so relatable because she asks the questions we really want to know the answers to. Her flirtatious, playful style reads like a Cosmo article with more poise and pointed societal criticism. Mindy’s ability to explore the humor concerning human insecurities would translate flawlessly to an interview setting. I can’t even imagine the amazing stories she could coax out of guests.

Sketches: Mindy Kaling is an excellent satirist with her wonderfully manicured finger on the pulse of what makes popular entertainment entertaining. Her passion for romantic comedies and skill in distilling what’s great about them into half-hour chunks on TMP suggests her Late Show sketches would have endlessly clickable potential.

3. Julie KlausnerJulie Klausner is my wild card pick. While for some crazy reason she remains less famous than my previous Late Show nominees, Julie has got the late night comedy goods. With a twitter feed that is as fiery, sassy and fun as her flaming ginger locks, Julie tells it like it is with a refreshing bluntness.

Monologue: Julie’s twitter persona is like that friend everyone has who makes loud, crude political jokes that are so incisively observant that the remarks cause nearby listeners either to riot or to silence. Julie’s got the balls of Chelsea Handler but the social consciousness of Leslie Knope. She would give the monologue a feminist-conscious spin that wouldn’t beat viewers over the head with the question of sexism like a relentless Jezebel headline.

Interviews: Julie’s interview skills are already noted in her podcast “How Was Your Week” where she interviews bright comic minds like David Sedaris, Carrie Brownstein, or Jim Gaffigan. Julie shows her ability to think on her toes by writing for Billy Eichner’s “Billy on the Street” segments during which Billy rapidly fires questions at unsuspecting Manhattan strangers. With Billy as her sidekick, the two could bring a loud, Jewish, accosting style of humor to the interview couch. I can see it now– Julie describing the next guest, the beautiful Drew Barrymore. HOW MUCH DID THAT DRESS COST DREW? NAME A PRICE!!

Sketches: Julie Klausner comes recommended by internet-ruling comic (and my personal hero) Rob Delaney, so she has connections to what is up and coming in the World Wide Web. She also tweets a lot about her cat, Jimmy Jazz, and parodies the already fascinating Millionaire Matchmaker in her Funny or Die videos The Cat Whisperer. Her comedy is fearless and unrelenting, and would provide the perfect spark to give the Late Show the momentum it needs for another 20-odd years.

 
Ally Bruschi is a senior political science major at Kenyon College. She spent this past summer interning as a writer with both The Daily Meal, a digital media group  dedicated to "all things food and drink" and The Borgen Project, a non-profit organization that partners with U.S. policymakers to alleviate global poverty. Before entering the "real world" of jobs, however, Ally spent many summers as a counselor at an all-girls summer camp in Vermont, aka the most wonderful place on earth. A good book, a jar of peanut butter, a well-crafted Spotify playlist, and a lazy dog could get her through even the worst of days.