Dear sister,
It’s hard to believe that in a few short days you will begin what will prove to be some of the most exciting years of your life. It’s even harder to believe that I will be embarking on the third year of mine. Having two years already under my belt, I’ve learned a thing or two about the college experience, and whether you want it or not I’ve decided to provide you with a little guidance. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes right now thinking that I’ve crowned myself the expert on all things college, but believe me, I still have lots to learn. College is different for everyone, but here are a few things I think most people would agree with me on.
1. Finding good friends won’t be as easy as it was in kindergarten… – As harsh as it sounds, it’s good to know when you’re first starting out that making friends is kind of a different process than the one you learned in elementary school. As time goes on and things change, people will tend to circulate in and out of your life, and I guarantee you won’t care for every person whom which you cross paths. That being said, if you let them, the people you meet in college have the potential to make a huge impact. They will teach you invaluable lessons and add unending value to your college experience. Be open to the idea of welcoming new relationships into your life and form connections with the people you admire and respect.
2. And judging people will only make it harder – We’re taught from birth never to judge a book by its cover, and yet resisting the tendency to form opinions of others when meeting them for the first time can be very hard to do. In fact, the more dissimilar someone is to our particular lifestyle, the more inclined we are to peg them as weird or unusual, when that may not be the case. It’s human nature to surround yourself with people who share the same values as you do, and college is one of the first times this comfort zone is truly challenged. The key is viewing this realization as an opportunity and not an inconvenience. Every day you are going to be surrounded by crazy party girls, serious athletes and brilliant minds, and every one of them deserves your respect until they prove otherwise. Keep your mind open to differing opinions and unfamiliar paths and making friends will become a heck of a lot easier.
3. Embarrassment is a waste of time – I learned this lesson the very first day of classes my freshman year when I showed up 20 minutes late to class due to a last minute room change. So there I was huffing and puffing while I apologized to the professor for my lateness and found a seat in the corner of the room slightly mortified from my first impression on the rest of my classmates. Since then I’ve tripped on icy sidewalks, wiped out in high heels and experienced the classic toilet paper sticking to the shoe dilemma in a couple less than pristine fraternity bathrooms – and guess what? I couldn’t care less about any of these things today. Sure they mattered to me at the time, but I quickly learned that life happens, and the sooner you learn not to fret the little things, the more you’ll appreciate the big ones.
4. Don’t expect most guys to be anymore mature than they were in high school (at least not the freshmen) – Blame the movies, blame the Nicholas Sparks’ novels, but for whatever reason we seem to make the assumption that making the journey to higher education means a more sophisticated pool of potential new mates – you know, the preppy fraternity presidents with a future and a trust fund? Well, I learned pretty quickly that most freshmen guys are basically high school boys with a higher sex drive. They’re finally on their own and free to do what they want, when they want, with who they want. The instant freedom is a bit overwhelming for everyone but seeing how they use it will quickly allow you to weed out the future CEOs from the soon-to-be dropouts. The truth is that every guy is different, and there will be complete jerks and total sweethearts no matter where you go. What I really want you to know is that your time at college shouldn’t be spent deciding which one is worth your time. Guys will naturally come in and out of your life without any added effort. The point of college is on improving yourself as a person– not on finding a future hubby.
5. A long nap and a night out with the girls can cure just about anything – College is all about challenges – challenges involving your family, your career, your relationships and almost every other aspect of life of which you can think. So how are you possibly going to make it through four years of it? Simple. Lean on the people who are going through the exact same thing. The great thing about going away to college is knowing that everyone around you is facing some of the same daily challenges that you are. And how do college students deal with these problems? Lots of unforgettable late nights followed by well-deserved snooze fests. Work hard, do what needs to be done and when you just can’t take it anymore, know when to let it all go.
6. Don’t hold grudges – One of the downfalls of being surrounded by such a variety of people every day is that you most certainly aren’t going to agree with all of them. People are going to push your buttons and whether it’s the professor who gave your ten-page paper half of the grade it deserved or your obnoxiously noisy floor mates, you’re going to have to deal with it. Take it with a grain of salt and learn to accept that you can’t control everything. The time you spend being angry can be better spent elsewhere.
7. Be thankful for homesickness– Appreciate the fact that feeling homesick means you have something worth missing. Not until I got to college did I realize how incredibly lucky I was to have a warm house and loving family to return home to every break. Not everyone is so lucky, and you will meet plenty of other students who want nothing more than to escape their pasts and start off brand new. Count your blessings.
8. Know the difference between a problem and an inconvenience – Shout out to my two former THON captains for teaching me this one! There’s an inspirational story that goes along with this lesson that is worth reading when you get the chance, but to summarize – there are two types of roadblocks you will face in life: problems and inconveniences. They are both frustrating and will require you to do a little adjusting, but the truth is that very few things you face will end up being problems. A problem is not having enough food to eat or contracting a serious disease – everything else is an inconvenience. Showing up late to class, forgetting to turn in an assignment, losing your room key – you guessed it, all inconveniences. Keep everything in perspective and realize what matters and what isn’t worth worrying about.
9. Change becomes a whole lot easier when you learn to embrace it – I know moving away to a brand new place full of unfamiliar faces can be a scary thing, but I promise you that you are where you’re meant to be. Embrace every moment and know that you are there for a reason.
College is changing. College is growing. College is sad goodbyes. College is new beginnings. College is learning: learning to adapt, learning to let go, learning to live.
Good luck baby sister. Work hard, have fun and know that your big sister will be there for you – always and forever.