Once upon a time—a time of such youth and foolishness—I attended class everyday with a head of freshly shampooed hair. Smelling of Pantene and glinting in the fluorescent classroom lights, my hair turned heads, if you will. I was proud of my ability to wake early and perform the daily scrub, keeping the sometimes greasy hair at bay.
But ohhhhhh the upkeep, and the waking up early, and the doggone EFFORT.
The moment I was introduced to the glories of the in-class baseball cap, this insane early morning ritual came to an end, and rightfully so. GONE was the hour spent taming an obscene display of bedhead. FOREVER BANISHED were the mornings attempting to forge a relationship between my hair and dry-shampoo. For it is you, darling baseball cap, who entered my life and forever altered my going-to-class ensemble. Today (and everyday for that matter), my outfits coordinate to compliment you, my beloved, and to further my almost laughable athletic visage.
My fondest memories spent with you atop my head range from the time I grabbed you in a sheer moment of tardiness, to when I did it again the following morning…and the morning after that. Heck let’s be real, I’m wearing you while typing this article, like the kickass thinking cap you are.
I simply can’t put into words the glories of the baseball cap. Her light-shielding properties in the wake of a morbid hangover are astounding. She follows through in times of desperately needed greaseball coverage. And in addition, the baseball cap doesn’t discriminate and loves and values all head shapes and sizes.
So to state plainly, I love you in-class baseball cap for being a savior to those who can’t find the time to shower, brush, or style their morning bedhead. You’re a loyal comrade in the morning tirade of getting ready, and a comforting friend that reminds me, “you don’t look like crap” regardless of my hair’s shampoo status (or lack there of).
I shall continue to put you on my head, and there you shall stay.