Our Campus Celebrity this week features a girl who has actually put the lives of others into her own hands by starting the Be Golden Club at VCU! This suicide-prevention, mental health awareness and self-harm support group centers on aiming to spread positivity, hope and love throughout campus. She says the members of Be Golden wish to stand up and speak out about the stigma that surrounds suffering, as well as offer support to the student body.
Hometown: Bluefield, West VirginiaBirthday: December 16, 1994Class Year: Sophomore/Junior Major(s): Biology; Veterinary medicineMinor(s): ChemistryFavorite thing about VCU: The dessert bar at Shafer. Those cupcakes and brownies and cookies are a reason to live.Organization(s): President of the Be Golden Club at VCU; but also a part of the Cosplay Club, Anime Club, Pokemon Club, Russian Club, Pre-Vet Club and Phi Sigma Pi as of next semester
Describe ‘Be Golden at VCU.’This is in no way, shape, or form a group for those suffering from mental disorders to receive treatment. We are not psychologists. We are just a group of people who have either lost those we love to suicide, thought of suicide ourselves and kept going, or just really care about preventing it and trying to help point those that are struggling in the right direction of healing. In short, the Be Golden Club at VCU is here to let everyone know that they are loved, that help is possible and that they shouldn’t let their light shine out.
Where did your inspiration come from to start it?This club originated back in Bluefield, Virginia at the high school I attended, Graham High School. Jocelyn Albright Desmond, a girl with a beautiful soul, a daughter, a friend to us all, and above all, a fighter of mental illness, took her life shortly before her eighteenth birthday. It was a result of many things, as these things always are, but it was sudden, painful and most definitely, unnecessary. Nothing good came out of it except for one thing: her passing sparked a conversation in my community that had been unmatched. Suddenly, people were saying the words like “suicide” and “depression” out loud. Thanks to Joc, the stigma of suicide was crumbling around us. People began to see that this is a problem, and that mental illness isn’t something that is just “inside your head” or “easy to get over.” People were speaking up about their own personal struggles and how unloved and unhappy they were or had felt. Some people even saw the suffering that Joc left in the wake of her death, a wave that rose and crashed down on everyone that loved her, and they chose to keep living. Some were even beginning to ask for help. And that is key. That is why the Be Golden Club was created back at my high school…to be a club that would offer support to those in need, spread hope around while educating the public about mental health and suicide, all the while keeping Jocelyn’s memory alive.
Where do you plan on going with it?My goal for this club is to have it completely established by the time I graduate college. I want it to have a pool of active members that genuinely care about the subject matter. I want its name out there; I want students to know that the Be Golden Club at VCU cares for them, even if they feel like no one cares at all. I want to establish a lasting partnership with University Counseling Services, which actually happened this semester, and continue to do events like we did this past month regarding the Alive! Mental Health Awareness Fair and VCU’s first ever Suicide Prevention Walk! Most importantly, though, I just want Be Golden to help someone somewhere on campus. I don’t know if that’s already happened or not, but regardless, if that’s the only thing the club amounts to at the end, it was still worth every second of hard work.
What are your personal thoughts towards suicide?I’ve struggled with depression and self-harm for 10 years now, and as much as I hate to say it, I have attempted suicide multiple times. But I am SO proud to say that I have been in complete recovery (no self-harm, keeping up with therapy and medication) for a little over six months now! So what do I think about suicide? Well, my thoughts have varied throughout the years. Towards the beginning of those 10 years, I would actually tell people to go for it. Who was I to deny them a way out of their suffering? But that was just the sadness in me talking. It took me spending a night in a psych ward, terrified and alone, with cuts up my arms for me to realize: there are other ways to be happy. Those ways won’t sound appealing at first are going to hurt and take a lot of effort that you probably think you don’t have left in you; but, I promise you, you do. Suicide isn’t the answer. Living is. You are strong. And one day, even if you can’t see it now, everything is going to be okay.
What are your personal thoughts towards mental health education?There needs to be more of it. WAY more of it. And it needs to happen a lot earlier in life than high school and college. Mental health education should start as soon as children realize they can pick on another human being and make that human being feel like dirt, intended or not. Suffering bullying and abuse in childhood is one of the leading causes, other than genetics, behind mental illness developing later in life. Once a child learns that they are “ugly” or “stupid” or the million other awful things that can be said, it is SO much harder to unlearn that those things are not true. Children need to be taught that they are more than the words, labels and expectations people have of them. You are more than the bad things that happen to you. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to cry. But it’s not okay to internalize that suffering and let it burn you up inside. Children learn very early on what cancer is and how cancer is a terrible thing that kills many people, but for someone reason people don’t want to say “the D word” around them. Children need to learn that depression kills too, and the warning signs that surround it. I have even spoken with adults who acted appalled when I said that statement, telling me that THEIR child who was well cared for, loved, etc. would NEVER be depressed. That’s the problem though; it can happen to anyone. Even the most well-adjusted, well-cared for human being can fall victim to mental illness. It is not something to be ashamed of; it’s something to be PROACTIVE about. And that’s where earlier mental health education comes in.
What are some ways you try to “save” students?We hold monthly meetings for people who have struggled with depression, who have lost someone to suicide, who need some extra love and care themselves, or even simply those who want to help. They come and help us break the stigma that surrounds depression, suicide and self-harm. We hold open meetings where people, even those not in the club, are encouraged to come and share their stories. It’s kind of like an AA meeting; we are here to listen and give support. We have been known to walk people to counseling, sit with them if they’re nervous, etc. We have guest speakers from time to time who speak about topics such as coping mechanisms, signs of depression and how to beat it before it beats you, etc. We also are partnered with University Counseling Services and help out with their Suicide Prevention Month events, and many other activities as well such as displays for National Bullying Prevention Month, handing out encouraging messages and candy during finals week, etc. That’s the heavy stuff though. We have fun, too. We’ll have nights where we make inspirational posters to hang up on campus or do “chalk walks” where we write positive messages around campus, or simply just all get together and hang out and laugh and be happy. Oh and the desserts. Desserts are always a plus to our meetings.
Have you ever received negative feedback about this club?The FIRST time I EVER posted ANYTHING about this club on Facebook (gauging the student body’s interest, potential members, etc.) I was met with OVERWHELMINGLY positive support. And amongst that support was one comment that was along the lines of, “A suicide club? I’m just DYING to join! Hahahaha.” Most of the other negative comments I’ve received have been along the lines of that — some rude pun about suicide, depression or self-harm brought about by ignorance or a lack of empathy.
If so, how did you move past it and continue?I’m not stupid. I know people don’t want to talk about depression and suicide. Plain and simple, it scares them. Or maybe they don’t consider it that much of a problem because they haven’t had to deal with it directly. But here’s the thing: Death rates are falling in the United States according to data for last year; but, one, and only one, death rate is still climbing: death by suicide. Suicide’s death toll is the highest it’s been in 25 years. That right there is what makes me want to continue. People can laugh about it all they want, but it isn’t a joke. It’s an emergency. Someone has to shed some light on such a dark thing, and I’ve basically made it one of my life’s missions to do just that.
What struggles did you face in getting this club started?Well, mostly, everything. Home for me is five hours west of VCU, and I knew a grand total of four people, all of which were from my high school back home, here at VCU. I was one out of 30,000+ strangers asking them if they wanted to join a club that was created in memory of the passing of a girl they didn’t know, that dealt with heavy subjects such as suicide prevention, mental health awareness and self-harm. Don’t get me wrong, getting the club approved by VCU Student Orgs was no biggie; but then I was left with everything else. Recruiting members, paying for meetings and activities out of my own pocket and establishing connections with the university itself despite my social anxiety and fear of failure, etc. It was a lot to deal with. I literally thought it would be impossible.
How did you overcome them?I was lucky enough to be blessed with the most wonderful Vice President, Aayushi Agarwal, who has helped me tremendously with all the responsibilities that came along with managing a club here at VCU. All my other members, too, have been EXCEPTIONAL. They’ve all helped me out from encouragement when I needed it, to spreading the word via Facebook and other social media and word of mouth, creating posters, digital art, advertisements, etc. This club would be nothing without its members. They’re a group of special, incredible, caring individuals that can overcome anything in their way. I may be the head of the club, but they’re my backbone. And it took an entire year of building the club up from ground zero through hard work, dedication, compassion and lots of second guesses; but Be Golden made it through alright.
Anything you would like to add?
Yes! I want to let everyone know that if they are interested in being a part of Be Golden they can like our Facebook and join our Facebook group or simply message me at perfinse@vcu.edu for more information!
Also, if you are in need of help please don’t ever hesitate to get help!National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Online Crisis ChatVCU Counseling Services: Monroe Park Campus: (804) 828-6200 (Monday thru Friday: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.)MCV Campus: (804) 828-3964 (Monday: 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Tuesday thru Friday: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.)After hour emergency: Call the VCU Police (804) 828-1234 and ask to speak to a therapist.
And lastly, don’t ever forget that life is beautiful and so are you.
Stay golden!