Whenever middle school is mentioned, I love describing my appearance as “a ball of uncooked dough with acne and braces.”
Everyone cringes appropriately and begins gloomy remembrances of his or her own rough appearance of the past. But I don’t feel gloomy at all, because once my orthodontist took pity on me and I figured out what a straightener was, I realized there are five good reasons why your awkward stage is a blessing in disguise.
1 – It’s a go-to confidence boost.
Now that you’ve reached the promise land of post-puberty, you never have to feel bad about what you look like ever again. Even if your hair has suddenly turned into that of Medusa, or you ended up at Pizza Kingdom one too many times last week and your gut is now showing it. Look up your best friend’s oldest Facebook album and enjoy all the pictures you angrily untagged yourself from five years ago. Let them remind you of how far you’ve come.
2 – Those years really gave you a good personality.
I always admire how preteens accept whatever curse puberty brought them, and live life anyway. In an awfully shallow world, we found other ways to make people love us when we were looking our worst. We became extra kind, incredibly funny, or even developed supernatural flirting abilities. So when you meet those girls who have always been beautiful and decided to just depend on that, and you get the vague feeling you are talking to a brick wall, just thank God for the extra quality years you spent with your baby fat.
3 – It’s an easy bonding tool.
I’m serious. The population of the aforementioned girls who DIDN’T have an awkward stag is very small, so reminiscing about such hardships creates a most organic bond between women. You have to let it come up naturally, and laughingly trade some cringe-worthy tales, rather than shake their hand and belligerently shout, “My pallet expander made me sound like Darla from Finding Nemo so I didn’t speak from ages eleven to thirteen!”
4 – Similarly, you have endless material for fantastic #TBTs.
It doesn’t matter if these pictures still pain you, because others find them hilarious and adorable (as you will once you get a little more distance from that “rough time”). So if you’re going for the likes, throw up a picture of yourself with a bob and a gap in your teeth, grinning in a McDonald’s fry’s costume, Halloween 2006. It’s a crowd pleaser… Or so I’ve heard.
5 – The friends you made then are your true friends.
A valid twist to “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” If they loved you with orange and black alternating braces in honor of Halloween and disastrous attempts to apply blue eye shadow, you know they’re in it for the long run. If she didn’t comment on how long it took you to grow into your head, you know she loves you; so now you both have normal proportions, she won’t even notice your appearance on the rare occasion that you’re hungover and ugly crying at the same time.
So next time you try to get your mom to let you burn all th photographs of you from your awkward stage (completely fruitless in the age of technology, but the action may be satisfyingly symbolic for you), just remember how much those years of pain really gave you.