What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? … A woolly jumper!
A police officer spotted a woman driving along the motorway whilst knitting. To get her attention he shouted “pull over!”. The woman, looking confused shouted back, “well, I think of it more as a jumper”.
Someone has been stealing my jumpers in order of size. Police say he’s still at large.
So now I’ve gone through a selection of my worst jumpers related cracker jokes, mainly stolen from my Dad who believes from December 1st it is his personal mission to repeat these gems several times a day, I will get onto the main topic of conversation; Christmas Jumpers.
Do you and your boyfriend fancy trying out this look at the Christmas party this year?!
The selection above, although beautiful in their own unique way, are handmade and as a student with deadlines round the corner it isn’t quite justifiable to spend your weekend gluing gems onto a jumper like a seamstress from Strictly Come Dancing. So whether you like yours stylish, cute or downright tacky, I have searched high and low (or at least Google) for the best knitted delights around. Not only do they keep you warm, you get to show your love for the festive season so boldly that your friends, lecturers, neighbours and even the campus the geese will know about it!
The Stylish
This red jumper from Matalan has enough glitter to show you are in the festive mode without looking like a homemade Christmas card. I love the pretty writing and the subtle nod to everyone’s favourite bearded man.
This Fair Isle number from Topshop is great as it can be worn throughout the colder months. The jumper has a snowflakes all over it but if it does snow *fingers crossed* you won’t be feeling the cold wearing this.
This jumper from M&S is from the men’s department but I couldn’t resist the robins and who doesn’t like stealing from their boyfriends wardrobe from time to time? The combination of pine trees and snowflakes certainly creates a festive scene.
*Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la, Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la* (I have just imagined myself as Mariah Carey here but if you want a more accurate representation of the sound that has just come out of my mouth you are not far off with a strangled cat!)
If you are a fan of a Christmas carol or two this may be the perfect jumper for you and if like me you are the less in tune sort of person you can leave the singing to other peoples imagination.
The Cute
This jumper from ASOS is certainly a firm contender in the cutest jumper awards. Mr and Mrs Santa Claus have fluffy white hair and are holding hands, there isn’t much more to say except this is adorable.
This knitted number from Next would also be a contender at the cute category at my imaginary Christmas Jumper awards. It has all the love and sentiment of a John Lewis advert combined with little white pom poms which means this is as about as endearing as a piece of clothing can get.
The sheep are lovely on their own but then some clever designer from Very has added hats with pom poms. They really do know how to pull at the heart strings. The fluff has a similar look to when you dressed up as a sheep in the primary nativity play by covering yourself in cotton wool. Only wearing this you look a little more stylish and probably won’t trip walking onto stage or cry when you get the words to silent night wrong.
The Tacky (I’m talking in a ‘good’… ‘it’s Christmas’…’you can get away with it’… kind of way!)
This jumper has flashing lights! Yes you do have to carry around a battery pack but you have to make some sacrifices in the name of fashion. This jumper from Matalan has all the classic elements, Santa, snow and Rudolf whilst making you into a human disco. Just turn down the lights, put on Slade and you have yourself an instant Christmas party.
This waistcoat from Cow by definition is not a jumper but I believe it has enough spirit to be included in the top ten. I especially love the use of metallic material and baubles. This is one for the big day itself or if you really want to impress at the Christmas Ocean. I feel like a waistcoat would look fabulous being swung around to Baywatch (disclaimer: if you overheat, which you most likely will, it’s your problem not mine).
To round up my top 10 I’ve picked this classic from notonthehighstreet.com. This has the most Christmas elements on one jumper that I’ve seen and combines primary colours in a way that will make sure you’ll be noticed. For a garish and bold look, you can’t go far wrong with this one.
So now you have taken this magical journey through a world of wool and sparkle, I invite you to go forth and pick your own fantastic number.
Sources
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/pets-christmas-jumpers-owners-give-…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2246713/The-ugliest-Christmas-…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2246713/The-ugliest-Christmas-…
Edited by Nicole Jones