1.) Tamagotchi: Oh yeah, you remember these bad boys. The little keychain devils that beeped with every poo during your fifth grade Science class. You probably named him Bob or Larry because you thought you were hilarious with your basic naming techniques, but Bob never liked a 9:30 bedtime, and you never enjoyed choosing between a scone or ice cream at 3 in the morning. Still, recess was just never the same without your little pocket pet; does anyone else ever remember being able to connect with your friends? I’ll never forget Bob’s first baby.
PSA – The Japanese have graciously brought Tamagotchi to your iPhone. Is this a recommended app? No. Just don’t.
2.) Limewire: We all dropped Limewire after the giant, green equivalent to a lemon gave our notebook laptops a seriously sour virus. This was also our very first illegal wrongdoing. Nostalgic, isn’t it? Still, Limewire was the iTunes of our day, ladies and gents. There was no matching the satisfaction of actually getting to hear the song you wanted to listen to rather than a horrible podcast. Did any other third grader enjoy Limewire theme music with a daily venture on Neopets? Anyone? No one?
3.) Wonderball: The Nestle Wonderball was only the greatest thing to happen to the universe of chocolate indulgences. Complete with a magical cornucopia of candies hidden inside the chocolaty orb, the Wonderball was the thing to have with every trip to the grocery store. Every. Single. One. What’s even better was, quite possibly, the exciting Spongebob face printed boldly across the front of a square box. I never saw any other candies sitting there in square boxes. I find that, now, I get the same orgasmic satisfaction from opening actual square boxes in the mail. Thank you, Wonderball, for being my prerequisite to packaged post.
4.) Bop It: I always wondered if the human being who invented Bop It had anger management issues. Regardless, the violent entertainment never really gave me any pleasure with each smack, pull and twist. It just kind of gave me a really, really red hand. Also – does this thing weird anyone else out just by the way it looks?
5.) Skip It: So, a while later Bop It discovered that repeated smacking, pulling and twisting could all be accomplished on the couch (get your mind out of the gutter), so they invented the infamous Skip It – no more sedentary fun for anyone! The ring that looped around your ankle was the new largest challenge for children to face – don’t freak out when your Keds get stuck inside of it. College kids need these while they walk (well, dance) to class. I can see it now: Skip It being all the rage, shutting down the gyms and crowding the sidewalks with a bulky blastic skip counter taking out other students one by one.
6.) Disney Mania: So, Disney only released four of these. They were the talk of the hallways in the fourth grade, but Kidz Bop and Now! CD’s gradually overshadowed the array of Disney pop stars singing classic Disney songs. I never really understood this. My idea of a Friday night was swooning over Jessey McCartney sing “The Second Star to the Right” and catch up on Teen Titans. Disney Mania was also my Disney World plane ride jam, complete with my Sony CD player and headphones. *hair flip*
7.) Polly Pocket: I checked. Pollypocket.com does still exist, but it is upsetting. No longer is Polly my idol and gorgeous girly-girl shopoholic, but she’s taken a trip back to the 80’s, complete with wonky outfits and friends that, evidently, use MP3 players. Watch it and weep: