Maybe we can’t blame Hollywood completely, but there has to be some reason that our college experience isn’t quite the same as Elle Woods’ experience in Legally Blonde, right? And what about those older siblings who always wanted to run back to college instead of spending time at home with us? Everyone talks about college. Schools advertise college so brightly that they forget to mention that – oh right! – college homework is much harder than high school homework. Parents are so eager to land us in Ivy Leagues that they forget that social development is still ongoing during our late teens and early twenties. And of course, we contribute to our own misinformed college careers with our dreams of finally setting off for the great frontier, with our eagerness to leave the rules and restrictions that Mom and Dad just insist on setting at home, and with our impatience to be ‘real adults.’
Adulthood. Whoever said adulthood was black and white was wrong. Maybe it was the television, or Grandma, or the neighbour’s older son, but regardless, we are very ill prepared for college life the way it actually plays out. Even the class valedictorian from high school begins at the very bottom of the college food chain. And while it’s a new start, a fresh chance for equality, college isn’t quite what we were brought up to think it would look like. And some of these so-called truths we were told about college….well, four years at Pitt have taught me how very untrue they were in the end. Here are ten of the best (worst) lies high school seniors are fed before embarking on the College Experience:
1. Everyone is equal at college.
Excuse me? I can’t get away with irritating my TA, let alone my professor. I even live in fear of offending the administrator in the Geology Department because I know she’ll take away my copier privileges if I so much as ask her for a stamp. College is not equal, and I highly doubt it was meant to be equal. The easiest way to learn is to learn from role models and experience. The more experience we get, the easier college becomes for us. Right? Then doesn’t it make perfect sense that seniors are higher on the college food chain than sophomores, just by way of having more credit hours and a heightened sense of what is expected of them? Then why do adults insist that college will be a chance to start off on equal footing with everyone else? Even within a class, students enter with different majors and different prior coursework. In a freshman seminar, some of the students have taken Advanced Placement English Language while others have not had the opportunity to take a higher level English course since ninth grade. But where we begin doesn’t matter as long as we seize the opportunities we are given to rise. Equality comes later; college is about learning to handle the small inequalities of life.
2. Your social life will go down the drain once classes begin.
Well, unless your idea of social life is going clubbing every night from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m., I think a social life is perfectly possible despite a challenging curriculum. There’s nothing quite like meeting your friends in between classes and after a tough week. Friendship is no small matter in college. Whether your major is neuroscience or fitness, socializing is very possible; it just might not be quite as large a part of your life as it was in school when everyone saw each other all day and after school as well.
3. You will find true love in college.
Finding true love is one of my life goals, but entering college dreaming of Prince Charming was one of the worst plans in my entire existence. For one, every boy becomes a number on a checklist, and more often than not, you miss out on important platonic friendships in the search for ‘The One.’ Although it may seem like everyone has an S.O. to cuddle at night (Nicholas Sparks, I’m pointing fingers at you here), college just opens the dating pool; it doesn’t magically sort out the weirdos and the jerks from the nice guys. That’s part of the learning process. I used to think college would be the place Mr. Right was waiting for me with his arms open and (this is stretching all bounds of imagination) with a 4.0 GPA held out towards me. But friendships with really nice guys and run-ins with guys who just don’t click taught me that Mr. Right isn’t going to be Mr. Right Now. Right now, I’m in a relationship with my Geomorphology textbook and that’s A-okay!
4. There are no labels.
I’m afraid there are. From clothing tags to classifying people by their majors to stereotypes based on friend groups, labels stick to us just as easily in college as they did in high school. Stereotypes can be as petty as labelling people as ‘jocks’ or ‘nerds’ or ‘the hippies in the geology department.’ And they still hurt as much as they did in high school – unless you learn to ignore them. Take it from me, labels will follow you wherever you go, but they can’t stick to you unless you pause long enough to let someone attach them on your back. People will try to classify you, but as long as you refuse to be classified, you can avoid the hurt. But labels do exist in the ‘real world.’ After college, they translate into labels based on economic status, marriage, race, and political views. But don’t expect college to be label-free.
5. Your parents have no place in your college experience.
From paying for your schooling to helping you buy an apartment, your parents should always remain an integral part of your life, regardless of your education status. College is about expanding your horizons, but never forget where you sailed from. My parents stood by me through the years of racism and bullying I faced in school. How can I forget that now that I am four years into college? Leaving your parents’ house shouldn’t signal the end of your interactions with them. Phone and Skype calls, letters, and cards are all wonderful ways of reminding your parents – your first best friends – that you still love and value them, even if you are swamped with exams. If you can find time to argue with your roommate about who left the can of tuna open all night, you certainly have time to dial a number and spend five to ten minutes bringing a smile to Mom or Dad’s face.
6. All of your textbooks will come in handy in the future.
Um, when will I be using my Vampires: Blood and Empire text in my foreseeable future? Unless I plan on writing the next horror novel or becoming a vampire hunter in Transylvania, that book does not feature in my career plans as of now. Neither does Piracy in Literature. Jack Sparrow, adieu. You do not need to chase me into the real world. Colleges force us to spend a ridiculous amount of money on textbooks when, frankly, we will never open at least half of them again. My new rule of thumb (created after I nearly wiped out my bank account in freshman year): only buy the books that are directly pertinent to your major or field. Everything else can be rented off Amazon or Chegg. No stress, less mess.
7. Going out is ALWAYS more fun than staying in.
I’m not a huge clubber or party pony, and I think I stand in good reason. Four years of college are behind me now, and yet I fail to see why so much of college social status is based upon how often a person goes out. Forgive me for not realizing that bars are actually keeping track of our attendance just as diligently as our professors are (expected) to be doing. I have friends who have lost friends because they finally got tired of bar-crawling every night, rain or shine, regardless of work load. Sometimes, staying in can be more refreshing than going out. My friend and I prefer to stay at home and eat raw cookie dough and watch The Mindy Project over going clubbing with our friends. Why? Because we derive more pleasure from the simpler activities in life. Clubbing can be fun if enjoyed in moderation. But don’t forgo your date with Netflix every night.
8. Looks don’t matter, it’s what inside that counts.
While looks don’t matter quite as much as college, college administrations don’t exactly blind us upon admission either. Admit it; you’ve been caught checking out a cute classmate at least once in your college experience. And more likely than not, the reason you even glanced their way a second time was because they looked good. Sure, you don’t decide that they’re date-worthy unless they have a personality, but looks definitely still matter in college society.
No, children, you will be fine. College is just another step in life. Live it to the fullest.