Confession Time: When ABC Family first started airing GREEK, I spent hours glued to the TV set, mocking the show and the Greek system. When I began applying for colleges, I knew I wanted a small school, in part because of my bias against Greek life at large universities and in part because of my football and frat obsessed home state. Large universities seemed to be to be dominated by the sports and sororities.
Here’s the kicker: I rushed. Coming to college, completely changed my opinions about athletics, the Greek system, what they stood for and their presence on a campus. I even rushed the only national sorority available at Kenyon. I rushed and loved every second of it, I even dragged my roomie/bestie along with me.
Rush, however, is about finding your own fit. Putting your friendship in the background feels impossible, but your decision who to rush and to rush in the first place shouldn’t be dependent upon your friendship. The house doesn’t only choose pledges, pledges choose a house. If a sisterhood isn’t the right group for you, it shows. You can’t make yourself be exactly what the house wants and you can’t mold the house into your own desires either. Most importantly, your best friend can’t change who they are or who the house is.
Everyone dreams of becoming best friend with their roommate, rushing the same sorority and becoming sisters for life. The chances of this this are slim to none, but it shouldn’t keep you or your closest friend from rushing.
Five tips to help make sure you and your friendship survive the rush of pledging:
1. Explore a little: It’s great to walk into the rushing process with an idea of what, or like me even who, you’re looking for in a house. Don’t rule anything out too early, though. Keep your friends wants and needs in mind, and give her a chance to explore options that you might not be considering. Who knows, she could discover a perfect fit for herself or the both of you. One visit to an unexpected house event could completely change your mind. Finding the right house takes time, and just like finding the right college, its unrealistic to expect that either you or your BFF to fall in love with a house overnight.
2. Support your BFF’s choices: Throughout friendships we lean on our friends for everything. Rushing can be nerve-racking as is, criticizing your friend’s decision will only increase the pressure and self doubt she might go through. At the end of the day, you were her sister before the process began and you should want what’s best for her.
3. Be each other’s “plus one”: We’ve all been in the awkward situation where we know one person at the party, the host. You end up spending all night in the corner, feeling awkward, sipping a cocktail, and desperately wanting to mingle. While it’s the sorority’s job to make you feel welcomed, you can ease the pressure by attending together. Chances are that between the two of you, you’ll know some of the potential members and sisters. Plus, you’ll have someone to talk to who makes you look personable and approachable. Nothing makes someone want to join a conversation more than two girls laughing and having a grand ol’ time together.
4. Be her wing-woman: Whether or not you’re rushing the same house, talk your girl up to the sisters. No one on campus knows her better than you. Share a funny story about her, gush about her amazing paper, compliment her amazing accessories; Play her up. It will make her feel more comfortable and provide the honest and flattering image you know her to possess. She will happy to return the favor later and help you secure a bid!
5. Talk to her about you worries: Chances are she has the same worries as you not just about the rush process, but about your friendship. The best way to ensure all goes well is to talk about these worries openly.