Have you ever had the experience of talking to someone who’s simply not listening? Chances are you have, and the term ‘technoference’ has recently emerged as a way to describe the cultural phenomenon of technology interfering with people’s relationships. It creates dissatisfaction and can cause feelings of isolation, even when you’re around lots of people. Now I don’t want to get all anti-technology on everyone – in many ways the internet and social media can make dating and communication easier, faster and less awkward. But there are still a whole host of other things we need to be aware of when it comes to using technology. Make sure you’re using it to enhance your relationships and make them more fulfilling, instead of allowing your relationships to be dominated by technology.
Here are five tips to avoid technoference:
1. Don’t take your phone out of your pocket or bag on a date! Even when the other person goes to the bathroom, it’s a big turn off for them to come back to see you mindlessly swiping Tinder for your next date while you’re still out with then.
2. If you’re spending the evening in with friends, make a pact not to check social media, and instead use the chance to have a proper, decent catch up and give each other your full attention. Have heart-to-hearts, watch crappy movies, and do face masks, but without checking anything else at the same time.
3. If you want to take pictures, put your camera away afterwards and put them onto Facebook or Instagram the next day, rather than doing it right away and ruining the rest of the evening by obsessively checking for likes the whole time!
4. Have your phone on loud so that messages can come through, and by all means check messages or phone calls when they come through in case they’re important, but if they aren’t urgent they can be replied to later. Put your phone straight away once you’ve checked it.
5. Take the time to appreciate your own feelings, and the world around you. If you stay grounded in yourself then it leaves you on a much better footing to have good relationships with other people.
Give your attention to the people you love, and remember that when you choose to ignore someone you’re with in favour of a screen, you’re essentially telling them that they’re less important than that screen. Don’t be that person!