I had a traumatic weekend.
I was driving back from a concert in Jacksonville late the other night with my friend. We got off I-95 and we were heading back towards home on literally the darkest road, with no street lights whatsoever, and parallel to the woods. We were just rolling along at 65 mph, cracking up at who-knows-what, and BOOM. A boar, the size of a small cow—I KID YOU NOT—was walking across my lane. I didn’t see it until it was already happening, and we literally drove straight into it. It went underneath my car, and we were all over the road. I honestly saw my life flash before my eyes—I thought I was going to die. The tire and engine lights came on, so I called my mom—because mom knows best obviously. We pulled over to the side of the road, smoke was coming out from under the hood, and the engine sounded like a dragon. We put the hazard lights on, and basically prayed nothing came out of the woods to kill us—like the boar’s family or something.
My phone was only on 10% so I was panicking slightly, but between the two of us, we started calling everyone, insurance, road side-assistance, and the police. I just want to say that people are pretty unwilling to help you at 2 a.m. Four calls to 911 and reassurance that an officer was on their way resulted in no officers whatsoever. An hour on the phone with road-side assistance, resulted in no tow truck sent over. So there we were, two girls sitting in destroyed VW Beetle on the side of the road in basically the middle of nowhere. Terrifying is an understatement. Several times, the few people that were on the road, stopped and rolled down their window to see what happened. Creepy dudes with cigarettes hanging from their mouths, mostly, so we totally could have been kidnapped as well.
My friends parents showed up and we sat in their car while we waited for the tow truck. After about two and half hours, the tow truck was there and loading up my car, and just as we were about to head home, her dad’s car wouldn’t start, which was just the icing on the cake at this point. The tow trucker driver had to jump that car, and after 20 more minutes, we finally rolled away.
When I got home at almost 5 am, I tried to go to sleep but all I could think about was the cow-sized boar staring into my soul on an empty road. I feel like I probably should feel bad about it, but all I feel is resentment towards any boar-like animal that would throw itself in front of my car and cause me so much trauma and hassle. Sorry boar.
The accident itself was pretty unavoidable. There was nothing that could have been done to swerve around it and save the animal or my car. You just have to be prepared in situations like this, and I feel like I really wasn’t. My advice to anyone who drives is to keep these things in your car. You never know where you’ll be when you need them, and instead of depending on other drivers, you can help yourself. They’ll really make situations like this less stressful, and easier to handle. Then all you have to worry about is boars haunting you in your sleep.
1. Road-side Assistance and Insurance numbers. Call these people up. They now what to do. They are literally sitting at a phone waiting for people to call up and ask for help. They’ll be able to send tow-trucks and emergency services to the scene, as long as you have some kind of idea where you are.
2. Flashlight. If you find yourself on a dark road surrounded by woods in the wee hours of the morning, you’re going to need a flashlight to inspect any damage, or to shine light into the trees were murderous animas linger.
3. Car phone charger. ALWAYS keep this in your car. We joke that we are reliant on our phones, but seriously. In an emergency situation you’re going to need it. A dead phone does nothing for you, and it might be your only way to get help.
4. Jumper cables. These things are super cheap. You can get 12 ft long cables for $20 at Lowes. Just keep them in your trunk and you’ll be able to re-start any dead car. Here’s a helpful little diagram in case you have absolutely no idea what to do.
5. Pocket knife. This is more of a comfort thing honestly. When we were sitting on the side of the road and these rando dudes kept stopping, all I could think of was how we would be kidnapped and no one would ever know. Just keep it there just in case. You can totally practice ninja knife skills while you wait for a tow truck too.
I went out and stocked up on all this stuff after my stressful weekend. I’ll be prepared the next time a boar tries to cross me.