1. The Build Up
The time has come. It’s just me and my shower caddy against the world now.
2. Humiliation
Why are so many people in here? My robe is coming undone. I feel a nip slip coming on. I’ll just readjust…nope, not working. Everyone definitely just saw my left boob. Bathroom: 1. Me: 0.
3. Disgust
Don’t look at the sinks. Don’t look at the sinks. Don’t look at the sinks. *Looks at the sinks.* Oh my god, is that pasta or a bug? Definitely pasta. Just move along.
4. Denial
Okay, the water pressure is better than expected, I can work with this. I’ve got a strong lather going. I’m whisper-jamming out. I so own this shower.
5. Annoyance
The water is stopping every 40 seconds. Please stay on water, pleeease. Okay, fine, be like this. Continuous flow is stupid anyways.
6. Fear
It’s time to shave. I can do this. I will do this. Maybe if I just put my right foot in the corner? And then prop my left leg up? This is so complicated. If I just wait until fall break to do this will anyone notice? Uh oh. CRAMP. I’m going down.
7. Disgust (Again)
I just touched something sticky. What was that? WHAT FREAKING WAS THAT?
8. Anger
I’m just going to fast walk back to my room now. Why are there so many boys in the hallway? Who invited you here? Please don’t be creepy. Yep, you checking me out counts as creepy. I need to get out of here before Nip Slip Part II is a thing.
9. Defeat
I’m so still thinking about what that sticky stuff was. I know I’m clean yet I feel strangely dirty. I just need a hug. Or another shower.