We all experience the start of semester differently; there is no finite, linear timeline of how we all come to accept the beginning of each semester. In fact, you may not experience all of the stages, or in a prescribed order either. So, I would simply like to draw out a terrain of how we are all currently feeling—remember, you’re not alone!
I am still getting papers back from last semester and yet, we’re expected to dive into a new semester! No. The answer is no.
Yes, I am in my fourth year. But that does not mean that I have this disposition when it comes to the start of each semester. When I was in my first semester of university, I was in a constant state of being utterly and completely terrified by everything and everyone. But poor, naïve little Skye always whispered words of confidence and promise into my thoughts: It will get better. One day it will be easier and you’ll have this whole school thing figured out.
Almost four years later, the thought of having to embark on yet another semester full of dull lectures, long study sessions, cold coffee, cramped transit rides (where people seem to think that personal hygiene is optional), early mornings, late nights, and occasional mental break downs makes me sad. It’s at this point that I remind myself that I’ve done it before and, so, I can do it again.
With this, my dear fellow students, I give you the five stages of starting a new semester: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Utilize these stages to help you frame and identify what you’ve been feeling. And please remember, you are not alone. We’re all in this together. Should we break out into a High School Musical scene? I’m thinking yes.
1. Denial.
Denial is the first of the five stages of starting a new semester. It helps us to cope with what is happening. In this stage, we begin to reflect on every single life decision we have ever made leading up to this point. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, and why we should go on. Over the past week, you’ve asked yourself questions like, “Why am I even here? Why am I in school? What am I doing with my life?”
We begin to question everything. We start to weigh risk vs. reward. For this reason alone, this stage is terrifying and very dangerous; however, it helps us to understand and reflect on why we’re here in the first place. There has to be a reason. Determine that reason. Got it? Perfect. Now use it to ground yourself and propel you forward.
2. Anger.
Anger is the second of the five stages of starting a new semester. This is when we start to feel again. It’s okay to feel angry. The anger we feel is natural and is simply a way to remind us that we care—I know, right? Mind = blown.
In fact, anger is a powerful emotion that will help control and bridge what you’re feeling. More than that, anger gives us fire. It is this strong emotion that we can anchor to. (Now I’m not encouraging you to go yell at some poor, innocent bystander, but why not be a little angry?) Personally, I prefer to direct my anger at society in general for imposing upon me these predisposed constructs and expectations, or at one of my sisters after they eat my food or wear my clothes. BE ANGRY! Yell, scream, or go for a run. It helps.
3. Bargaining.
Bargaining is the third of the five stages of starting a new semester. We begin to bargain with ourselves, while incorporating the past. We think, I’m sorry I wore my sister’s shirt without asking. If I never steal her clothes again, can I just skip this semester?
We question all our past decisions and are determined that, if we could go back in time, things would be different. We get lost in a maze of “what if” and “if only” statements. We reflect on everything we could have done differently: If only I had taken six classes every semester from my first semester, I would be done! We plead for mercy: Please! I will be a better, more understanding, more compassionate, more loving, more giving human being, if I can just skip this semester, go back to elementary school, or wake up and find it’s mid-July and that this has all just been one big, horrible dream.
4. Depression.
Depression is the fourth of the five stages of starting a new semester. After bargaining, our attention moves squarely to the present. We are hit with the sudden realization that time machines do not exist, nor do magical genies that will grant us three wishes. (I didn’t want to be the one to break this to you). This is when empty feelings present themselves and we begin to feel everything at a much deeper level. But ask yourself this: Is the start of school actually depressing? It’s absolutely devastating, sure. Will it be fun? Probably not, but we will survive it—you can quote me on that.
5. Acceptance.
Congratulations! You made it! Welcome to the fifth and final step of starting a new semester: acceptance. We may not like it (I know I don’t), but the semester has started. As a result, we have to accept it or else, we’ll get left behind. I speak from experience. We will learn to live again in a world bombarded by deadlines, loud alarm clocks, and long lectures. More importantly, after the semester ends, in just three short months, we will learn to be happy again. Yes, I’m being melodramatic. Just let me sulk, okay? It fuels my hate fire.
So, there you have it! You have successfully (I hope) made your way through all five stages of starting a new semester. It’s exhausting. I think we all deserve a nap.
Instead of denying our feelings, we need to listen to our needs and work hard to succeed in our future endeavors. Plus, I guess school’s not all bad. We have so many opportunities to make new connections, new meaningful relationships, and new inter-dependencies. In the meantime, you are more than welcome to come out with me and get drunk…uh oh. I’m back in denial.