Although we all thoroughly enjoy a night breaking it down on the Rumors dance floor or ordering multiple rounds of dirt-cheap drinks in CP, CUA students definitely know how to throw down at a house party. With a house party comes alcohol, and with alcohol comes alter egos. Combining original personality with some “liquid courage” can cause someone you know as shy and timid during the day to be dancing on the Football House kitchen table at night! With that being said, here is a list of the six types of people you will most likely encounter at a CUA party:
Attention Wh*res: Everyone appreciates a little bit of attention, but asking for TOO MUCH attention screams desperation. We all know someone who feeds off of having all eyes on them, which is irritating and often induces “second-hand embarrassment”. Everyone sees that girl grinding on every guy in sight, or that guy trying to charm any girl that looks his way. It’s not flattering or cute, so “DON’T BE THAT GUY”!
Cry Babies: We can all get emotional, and a few cups of keg beer can definitely put someone over the edge. Towards the end of the night you will probably see small groups of girls consoling one friend who is balling her eyes out. This could be over a spilled drink, someone flirting with their guy, or simply because they have TOO MANY feelings. But don’t be so quick to judge! Hasn’t everyone cried over nonsense at least once when they were drunk?
Dancing Queens: I have definitely learned that the music played at a house can make or break the party. But there are some individuals that can adapt to any genre of music at any point in the night. Level of alcohol intake may increase dance move diversity, but the person is usually a true dancing queen at heart. They can go from “Hitting the Quan” at the beginning of the party to jumping up and down on the Baseball House table to “Mr. Brightside” later in the night. These people make a dance floor wherever they go and keep the party lit.
Cradle Robbers: Let’s be real: we can all tell the difference between a freshman and senior girl. Being a senior myself, I know that I would never show up to a house party in a crop top, bodycon skirt, and heels. But people learn at all different paces… If I can tell who is an underclassmen, there are upperclassmen guys that can tell as well. This is where the “cradle robbers” come in. They have gotten bored with (or really are too insecure to spit game at) girls their age, and try to charm the frosh. Younger girls get excited by the attention and mesmerized by the charm, but it’s a trap! Next thing you know, they are hand in hand walking out of the Trap House together…
Savage Liabilities: As you enter a CUA party, everyone is usually just starting to drink and get comfortable. But there are always those select few that come in way too hot and are instantly ready to party. Whether they are a happy or angry drunk, they seem to have minimal control over their bodies and destroy everything around them in the process. We may all love the entertainment, but getting too close to them may lead to a spilled drink or accidental fist to the face!
Lingerers: Having a house of my own, I know that the party doesn’t really end until around 3:30-4 AM. There are always a few people that cannot let go of the aux cord and seem to be satisfied with hanging around the house residents into the wee hours of the night. It ranges from the closest of friends to slight acquaintances, but the mixed crowd always seems to wrap up the night well. So don’t fret over that post-drinking anxiety about lingering so hard: keep calm and linger on!