Valentine’s Day originated as the feast day of St. Valentine of Rome, a Roman Catholic martyr and patron of courtly love, happy marriages, young people and affiant and engaged couples.
Although there isn’t much known about Valentine’s life, legends tell that he was imprisoned—and inevitably executed—for trying to spread Christianity. According to catholic.org, he healed a jailer’s daughter while in prison and, on the day of his death, left her a note signed, “Your Valentine.” Just like that, the whole sentiment of giving “Valentines” was born.
Needless to say, the holiday’s religious traditions have transitioned into a secularized day full of red roses and overpriced Hallmark cards—because nothing says I love you like generic brand chocolate, right?
At daybreak on Feb. 14, it’s safe to say every given person has a slew of friends and family members who’re expecting a phone call, box of unappetizing chocolates or over-sized card—probably donning a googly-eyed puppy holding a bright, red heart.
First off, cards just aren’t personal anymore—and the ones many of us purchase on Valentine’s Day aren’t an exception. We pay big bucks for a pre-made message enclosed in what’s essentially a folded piece of cardstock, and that’s not exactly the most sentimental way to show your affection.
As I see it, there’s a reason mom always pushed that good ol’ construction paper and colored pencils on us every holiday season: It’s just more thoughtful. Nothing feels more anticlimactic than opening a card from a loved one, just to see a quick cliché and sloppily written signature.
Aside from these often dispassionate cards, Valentine’s Day is known for those heart-shaped, chalk-tasting candies and assorted chocolates—which might as well be filled with toothpaste. It’s almost impossible to keep either down without a battle of brain vs. stomach, and again, it all feels too impersonal. Of course just giving a gift is “thoughtful,” but we always seem to settle on a quick purchase instead of a sentimental surprise.
Even if we show our affection for our loved ones with the rising of every sun and it’s setting at each dusk, the mainstream attention of this secularized holiday creates a feeling of unfair, extraneous expectations.
With all the unavoidable radio, magazine and television commercials leading up to the day of red, white and pink, avoiding unnecessary spending seems impossible.
Whether one is of Christian creed or not, it might be worth looking back on the original legend that inspired this secularized, consumer-focused, holiday. For St. Valentine, the act of giving to another was about showing genuine compassion and care.
Although Valentine gave a card as a sign of love, it’s likely there were slim pickings in his third-century jail cell; a card was truly his maximal act of love.
Nowadays, taking time out of our duty-driven days for another is the truest act of love, so, this Valentine’s Day, let’s think of the most genuine way to communicate our care: by simply spending time with the ones always running through our minds.
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