It’s Wednesday afternoon. I’m sitting in English class expecting to discuss the Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s and 30s. Instead, my professor prompts the class to express their feelings about the racial conflicts on campus and the demonstration of students the previous day. After numerous responses, my classmates begin to discuss what it means to be a minority in today’s society. They talk about the preconceived notions that people hold of them, as well as the issue of modern discrimination. Suddenly, one of my black classmates turns around and looks me dead in the eyes. She addresses me and the five other white students in the room.
Why do we have nothing to say? Why aren’t we talking? Is it because we’re white?
Her hostility is palpable. My heart begins to beat faster and my face reddens due to the anxiety coursing through my body. I raise my hand. I explain that I have nothing to say. I’m not trying to be disrespectful or rude, but I don’t know what it means to be black, Hispanic, Asian, or Middle Eastern in the United States today. I’m in this course because I genuinely don’t know and I want to learn. She says “thank you” in a whisper.
It’s been a whole week since this interaction, and I can’t seem to get the scene out of my mind. Prior to this interaction, I’ve never before been asked to participate in a racial discourse. I’ve never felt so put on the spot, nor have I ever felt so uncomfortable to participate in an academic setting. But, I’m grateful for this experience.
This interaction was one of the greatest learning experiences I will probably ever see in my college years. The anger of my fellow classmate was rooted in her belief that I, and the other white students, were not listening to her— that we did not care about the effects that the social construct of racism have forced upon her life. After much careful thought about the event of that Wednesday afternoon, I have found that speaking up was the right thing to do. By explaining my position, I made it clear that I was listening to the thoughts that my classmate had expressed in confidence. She was able to recognize that I cared about the undeniable racial discrimination and oppression that are present in today’s society. She knew that I was making an effort to join the racial discourse.