1. The Floater
The floater is that person you know who’s in the school of business with hopes of getting their doctorate in some sort of major, maybe Women and Gender Studies. These are the type of people who sit next to you in class, or live on your floor, and constantly make you wonder, “How did you even get here?” And to be quite honest, they don’t really know either… and they don’t know what they’re doing here, too.
2. The Philosophers
These people are constantly asking, “What if?” and, “So?”, to all of your questions. Even the dumb ones. The people who enter college and read Plato’s Apology and suddenly realize that this is what you’ve been trying to say all along, and you’ve finally realized that this is your calling.
3. The High School-Peaker
These people usually peeked in high school, and have been stuck there ever since. They are still concerned with what everyone back at home is doing, and still wear their high school varsity jacket, and the sweatpants from their high school to every class, every day.
4. The Socially Conscious
These are the students that know (or think they know) everything about politics and what is going on in the world around us, not including our college campus. These people can usually be found volunteering to petition Trump in the middle of Washington Square Park, or handing out flyers around campus to make awareness of the next nearest election. They are usually involved in almost every club on campus (or try to be). They also usually get the New York Times notifications sent to their cell phone.
5. The First Taste of Freedom
Everyone knows a person like this. The person who goes out every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and sometimes even Sunday night, gets belligerent, lies in bed all day, eats greasy food, finally gets ready, and repeats. These are the people who usually didn’t get the chance to go out in high school, or just never had the opportunity to “go as hard”. Just when you think 4 nights of partying is enough, these people can also be found celebrating Mojito Monday’s, Tequila Tuesday’s, and the most popular, Wine Wednesday’s.
6. The Sisters and the Bros
The Sorority Sisters and the Frat Brothers are the ones constantly posting on their social media sites about their sisters/brother, pictures with their sisters/brothers, events they attended/held with their sisters/brothers, why you should be a sister/brother, and so on. If you’ve never met a person like this, just look for the big greek letters on the back of every article of clothing they own.
7. The Homesick
The person who’s constantly Skyping their friends from home, or calling their third uncle twice removed just to see how he’s doing. The person who posts throw backs from the third grade with people they haven’t spoken to in 10+ years, just because they thought of them. The person who talks about their mothers cooking while eating in the dining hall. Or, if they’re close enough home, the person who goes home EVERY. SINGLE. WEEKEND.
8. The Hard Workers
The people who don’t ever have time to enjoy themselves because they’re revising their papers and planning on revising it seven times, even though it’s not due for three weeks. The people who live in the library, and switch back and fourth from there and the dining hall. The people who cry over a 99. The people who are always carrying around notecards, even when there’s nothing to study for.
9. The Hipsters
The people who smoke cigarettes on campus, even though they know it tastes awful. The people with clear glasses, chokers, and Dr. Martens boots. The people who smoke before class because it’s “cool”. The people who play guitar in the middle of campus, surrounded by their friends. The people who act like they don’t care, but are actually more sensitive than a girl on her period.
10. The Athlete
The people complaining in the cafeteria that all the cookies are gone, or all the food isn’t sufficient enough to what they usually eat. The people who are constantly limping or icing or walking around campus in packs, all wearing similar outfits. The people who consider everyone else to be a NARP. The people who spend about 80% of their time dedicated to their sport, living and breathing it.