I had a very musical childhood, with main events and activities remembered by the music that was playing at the time. One of the biggest artists from that time was Destiny’s Child. Ever since I was 5, I have been listening to Beyoncé. Not only is she a music icon, she has been slaying for years. While she has always been on my radar and I consistently had a favorite Beyoncé song, I didn’t really become truly invested in Queen Bey until “BEYONCÉ” came out. Yes, I know, I am very late to the party, but this was the CD that really defined Beyoncé as a staple in my life. From “***Flawless” to “Partition” this made me sincerely bow down. So, I had never gone to a concert of hers, and never knew it I needed to until I went Friday night to her Formation World Tour. I felt so many things and it was seriously a spiritual experience. It was a rollercoaster of extreme highs. Let me walk you through how Beyoncé stunned me, ruined me and saved my life.
Denial
I had tried getting tickets as soon as they went on sale, however if you have ever waited in a virtual line for someone as monumental as Bey, you know how hard this is. So, alas, I thought I had to go another year without seeing Beyoncé (for the On The Run Tour, I actually had to babysit. For kids whose parents were going to the concert. I was peeved, to say the least).
So, when one of my friends was selling 2 tickets at a great price, I jumped on those really quick. But this was mere days before the show and up until I was on the “L” to go to Soldier Field, I could not wrap my head around the fact that I was going to see Beyoncé perform. And because of this denial, I was not mentally preparing myself for what was about to happen (which was a huge mistake).
Hype
After an hour “L” ride, a long walk down Roosevelt, a twisting path down and under Lake Shore Drive, and then numerous ramps up to our nosebleed 400 entrance, my friend and I finally made it to the entrance at Soldier Field. We were hearing the last remnants of Rae Sremmurd and the hype was real. That denial quickly went away and I was filled with so much excitement, I almost didn’t know what to do with myself. We were frisked, tickets scanned and headed to find our seats. Of course, when it rains in Chicago it downpours, so there was a good 20 or so minutes of just rain, forcing most people into the concessions area, so that hype was slowly fading as we went to buy merch (which was on point), but we were still more than happy to be there.
Calm
As we climbed to the 23rd row of the highest section Soldier Field has to offer (no complaints though), I was mostly out of breath, but full of a tranquil feeling. I had come to terms with my being there, I was content to take in the beautiful scenery of the arena and Beyoncé’s set, which consisted of a huge stage at the end of the field with a giant cube and catwalk that extended to a smaller stage. And usually, no concert had ever started on time, so I figured at 9:10, we were going to wait another 30 minutes or something. But I was dead wrong.
Realization
At 9:15 on the dot, the lights went out and the cube started changing colors and spinning slowly. I could not believe Beyoncé was about the grace us with her presence. This is truly the moment that I realized where I was and how significant this moment was.
Utter Pandemonium and Incoherency
And then, Beyoncé plotted the ultimate demise for us. After spinning for a bit and showing some really artsy, slow-motion video clips of Beyoncé being beautiful, the cube turned black and then started pulsing in time to the opening strains of “Formation”. Beyoncé was opening with her biggest, most talked about hit of the year thus far and she had NO mercy. We definitely lost some people that night, because I was on the 400th level and even I felt light-headed. Not only was my body and soul not prepared to see the Queen that soon, but then she opens with that song? There was a collective hush from the audience between when the cube blacked out and the opening of the song started. There was sheer chaos and I was screaming my brains out. I was shaking and getting goosebumps and she hadn’t even started singing yet.
Half the time, I didn’t know what to do with myself. When I say “incoherent” I mean literal speechlessness. I stumbled through some lyrics because my brain was just moving so fast. I felt faint at one point, probably from all of the shaking I was doing.
My personal video – Don’t mind the crazy screaming
Emotional
There were many emotions throughout the concert, like the desire to twerk in the aisle, to cry because the female empowerment radiating off Bey and her dancers was all too much and the intense elation at being there at my first Beyoncé concert. She pulled at the heartstrings with songs like “Me, Myself and I” and the playing of Prince’s “Purple Rain” during a wardrobe change (RIP), she made you angry with songs like “Sorry” and “Don’t Hurt Yourself” and she filled you with such love and adoration because she was so invested in making sure we were having a good time. I have been to a lot of concerts in my life, a lot of them very good, but nothing was as amazing of an experience as The Formation World Tour.
Depression
The high of Beyoncé didn’t wear off until I woke up the next morning. I couldn’t stop telling my friends and family about it and I re-watched my ridiculously long snapchat story 100 more times than was really necessary (but is there really a hard limit?). But then I lost all energy and will to do anything. I created an even bigger Beyoncé playlist than I had before. My Tidal subscription had ended, so I bought “Lemonade” and I just reminisced. I was almost grieving in my post-Beyoncé state and I didn’t know how to deal. It’s a good thing that I had an extra day to do work thanks to Memorial Day, otherwise I would have been royally screwed with the amount of work I neglected.
Acceptance/Determination
Three days later and I have finally come to terms that, yes, Beyoncé flipped my life on its head, but that it’s over now and I have to get on with my life. The amazing power of her performances and her overall presence was more than I could have hoped for and I just know that I have to see her again. But probably still from the 400 level. Any closer, and I think I would cease to exist.