Growing up, whenever I was asked to share a “fun fact” or “something interesting about myself” I would always know exactly what to say. I have an identical twin. Being part of this duo has shaped who I am today, and I don’t think I would be where I am if I hadn’t had my sister by my side. Me and my sister grew up watching TV that tried to portray this unique relationship, from Sister, Sister with Tia and Tamara Mowry, to The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. When my sister decided at the end of last year that she would be moving to California, I was terrified to take on my second year alone. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to handle being completely on my own for the first time. When I found out that Emily and Charissa were both twins as well, I knew that they could understand exactly what I was experiencing. Many people are fascinated by the relationship of twins, and are intrigued by this special bond. I asked Emily and Charissa about their experience of growing up as a twin, and how this has affected them throughout their lives.
Me and my sister Tea hanging out in our fire fighter hats.
Emily and her sister Michelle
Charissa and her sister Corlissa
1. Are you and your sister identical or fraternal twins?
Emily: Fraternal twins.
Charissa: Fraternal twins.
2. Many parents dress their twins alike when they are younger, further emphasizing their similarities. (Me and my twin are guilty of this!) Did you and your twin dress alike when you were young, or were you more independent in your sense of style?
Emily: We were more independent with our style, but we would occasionally borrow each other’s clothes.
Charissa: We dressed alike when we were young! We would either wear the exact same thing or wear the same outfit but in different colours!
3. Anyone with siblings knows that there is a certain kind of sibling rivalry that can develop, whether it comes to academics, or sports and extracurriculars. Did you have this kind of competitiveness in your relationship growing up? And if so, how did you resolve this?
Emily: We did have this kind of competitiveness while growing up, but we just learned to accept the fact that either one of us did better than the other; or that there would be no hard feelings about it.
Charissa: I think all twins get compared with one another and that naturally stirs up some competitiveness. In our relationship growing up, my sister felt the competitiveness more than I did because she is a more competitive person. On the other hand, I felt more inferior and just learned to live with it. As we grew older, we started opening up more to each other about how we feel when we are compared and began to intentionally try to accept each others’ strengths and weaknesses. I think knowing how each other feels amidst constant comparison and realizing that it affects us both really lessens the sibling rivalry.
4. Growing up, me and my sister always had the same friends and were involved in the same activities. Were you and your sister the same way, or did you form your own group of friends and have distinct hobbies? How do you think this affected you as you grew up and formed your own identities?
Emily: When we were younger, we each had our own group of friends, but now we mostly have the same group of friends. We were involved in the same activities, like swimming, playing piano, art, etc., though we did have different hobbies. I liked to read a lot, while my sister liked to design and create things.
Charissa: My sister and I always had the same group of friends as well and we were also involved in the same activities. I think it affected our friends more than us because when we would argue, they didn’t know whose side to take! In terms of forming our identity, I’m really thankful that my sister and I didn’t have trouble becoming our own person. Having the same group of friends and doing the same activities had no effect on us. We still developed different personalities, found things that one of us enjoys more than the other, and became interested in different career paths.
5. I know that when people first meet me and my sister, they can ask some pretty ridiculous questions! What is the most ridiculous or craziest question anyone has ever asked you and your sister? (Someone once asked me if I had always had a twin!)
Emily: Someone asked us if we could feel each other’s pain, like when one of us gets hurt, can the other twin feel the pain as well.
Charissa: Someone once asked me “Would you feel pain if I hit your sister?”
6. Transitioning from high school to university can be a very intimidating experience for some people. I was lucky enough to have my sister with me for my first year. Both of you are attending different schools than your sisters. Can you talk about some of the challenges that this separation has presented?
Emily: Even though we go to different schools, we are both still in Toronto, so it wasn’t too challenging to be apart. Since we are both in the city, it is easier for us to see each other.
Charissa: Being separated, we definitely struggled with loneliness. Not having each other around 24/7 is a drastic change because I no longer have someone to talk to about every little thing or someone who knows exactly how I feel before I even say a word. I also had to learn to take care of myself more and wake myself up in the morning! My sister took care of me a lot when we lived together and she was my alarm clock every morning. Now, I have to set my own alarm, cook every meal myself and I can’t even ask her for help each morning when I pick out what to wear.
7. How has attending a different university affected your relationship with your sister? Do you find that you are closer than before, or have you developed more independence? Do you ever wish that you had chosen to go to the same school?
Emily: We learned to be more independent and to do things without each other. It would have been nice to attend the same school, but we are fairly close already.
Charissa: We are a lot closer than before! We appreciate each other more as well! I think being separated really showed us how significant we are in each other’s life and how much we love each other. We literally can’t go a day without skyping each other and texting each other. We definitely both wish that we chose to go to the same school as it would have made the transition a lot easier, but we have also grown a lot from the experience of being separated.
8. When people first hear that I have a twin, one of the most common responses I get is “What is it like having a twin?” People are really intrigued by the whole thing! How do you respond to this question? Do you ever wish that you didn’t have a twin sometimes?
Emily: I never really realized that having a twin was so different, but I usually say “It’s good, we do everything together.” When we were younger, my sister never wanted people to know we were twins, but I think it’s pretty cool. I never thought about not having a twin.
Charissa: Having a twin is like having the ultimate best friend! From birth, you have someone that will always be by your side, someone who will love you unconditionally and someone who will accept you for who you are. Of course, I have wished that I didn’t have a twin before. Those thoughts always come when I am extremely angry at her and sometimes when we are being compared. But I don’t have those thoughts as frequently as when I was younger. Now, I couldn’t be more grateful for a twin.
9. People have very close relationships with their siblings, but being a twin is a unique kind of bond. How do you think having this special relationship has affected you throughout your life?
Emily: I feel like we are able to connect more and trust each other with everything. We tell each other our problems, and know that we have each other’s back whenever one of us is down.
Charissa: I think having this special relationship surrounded me with a constant love and understanding that other siblings don’t have. Because we are the same age, we go through the same stages of life at the same time. We understand each other’s struggles more than anyone else could understand each other. We always keep each other company so we’re never alone. We grow together and we see each other’s successes and failures, and as a result this bond gives us someone to turn to even in times where we may feel ashamed or embarrassed.
10. Overall, being part of a dynamic duo is a pretty cool experience. But if you had to choose, what would you say the best part of having a twin is?
Emily: I think the best part is being able to call them your best friend.
Charissa: The best part of having a twin is that somehow she knows me better than I know myself. She always knows what I need to hear and she always knows how I’m feeling. There are tons of other things that makes having a twin great, but this quality sets her apart from all the other people in my life whom I love and who love me.
Emily and Michelle
Corlissa and Charissa
Tea and me.