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Saying What You Mean & Meaning What You Say

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CUA chapter.

I think a lot of times as girls we feel like we need to be the three C’s at all times; calm, cool and collected. So when a guy crosses us, to not seem crazy or entitled we are told not to say anything, to let it go and keep life moving. To not write a long text message because GOD FORBID a guy reads something longer then stats on ESPN or a text that long might freak them out. I know for me I can’t write in bullet points, I’m conscise and clear but i’ve been the type as my mom would say, to write ‘novels’ in birthday cards. So recently one of my best friends and I came across similar situations…do we tell these certain guys how we feel regardless of maybe scaring them away and despite how long our texts might be….I said for DAMN sure we are. 

The guy that I had a few words to say to had a huge misconcepton in his mind of what I wanted and felt as though because of that I would be at his every call…girl I set his ‘arse’ straight. He wasn’t honest with HIMSELF and didn’t listen to different signs and things of that natural. HE 100% was in the wrong and it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him, so I let him know. At the end of my LONG text message he said that I was right, he couldn’t argue with that I had said and apologized. You know how sometimes you’d say to your friends, “in a perfect world this is what I would say to him… but don’t worry I’m not actually going to.” (yes you actually would). But we are all afraid to be vunerable and just let them have it, sometimes they need to know how they hurt you and why because guys dont think like we do and see what we see. 

In my friends case she had been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks now and this person had gotten out of a relationship a couple of months ago. A situtation arose that made my friend feel a little suspicious as in, is this kid still talking to his ex? She wasn’t sure if she should say something to him or maybe let it go. She felt like she should be honest because she wouldn’t want to be apart of that toxic situation and went with what SHE felt was best. I know I sometimes ask too many people advice and then you get too many varying opnions, which can consfuse anyone on what to do. No one has the answers or really knows the right thing to do, some people do have better intuitions. She told him EXACTLY how she felt and the results were beautiful…

If you feel like you need to get something of your chest do so, say what you need to say, be clear and lay it all out on the table!