The stereotypical reaction to finding out your parents are getting divorced is something along the lines of “TWO CHRISTMASES!?” Two Christmases, two birthdays, two Halloweens, two Thanksgivings- too many days for celebrations that are only supposed to be one day. While the idea of doubling holidays and special occasions may be appealing at first, in the long run it becomes tiring. To those who are from split homes, I’m sure you’ll be able to relate. For those of you who are not, I want to shed a little light on what holidays with split families is really like.
When I was nine my dad told me that he and my mother were getting a divorce. What that meant didn’t truly click in my head at that time. To me, they were just another couple splitting up. Many of my friends’ parents were divorced, so I thought nothing of it. The first holiday season passed, and in all honestly I don’t remember much since it was so long ago. Nothing was memorable, so it was the stereotypical “two Christmases!” situation. Nothing about my parents being split had sunk in.
By the age of 11, I realized something was off. Over time, the holiday season would come around and something wasn’t quite right. It felt very lonely. We’d have Christmas one day, but my dad wasn’t there. We’d celebrate Christmas again the next day, but my mom wasn’t there. At this time, I began questioning why we did this. Why did my parents divorce? Why did this happen to my family? I was very confused and hurt. Seasons would come and go, and I found myself crying unexplainably during the holidays. I felt an empty void inside of me. I never really put two and two together at the time. To me I was just crying for some unknown reason.
I finally realized that these random outbursts of sadness came from having to spend the holidays with a split family. Having several Christmases to go to became a chore. I didn’t want to get out of bed and go. I wanted to have one great celebration and be done. Having two Christmases and double the presents, wasn’t worth being upset and feeling empty. Over time, I grew as a person and learned how to cope with celebrating the holidays with each of my parents separately. In no way, shape or form, am I mad or upset at my parents for being divorced. Some people are simply not meant to be with each other and are happier apart. I’ve come to love getting to see my step-family at their Christmas gathering, and I get to spend my Christmas mornings with my mom, step-dad, and siblings. I even see my dad for a couple days for Christmas. I don’t feel as bad as I once did, but at times it still seems like a hassle. It’s not perfect, but nothing ever really is. In the long run “TWO CHRISTMASES” is really too many, but I’ll make the most out of it.