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You Don’t Need a Boyfriend to Define You

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at GCU chapter.

We all have that one friend, the one friend who desperately wants a boyfriend. Maybe it’s just a generational thing, or maybe it’s a self-esteem issue, but it shouldn’t be. So many girls want to fall in love. So many girls want to feel desired. Today, the line between good relationships and bad relationships has been blurred and the meaning of being in a relationship has changed to a status symbol or a fad. Many of these girls will settle for guys that are less than they deserve and will go in and out of relationships never truly feeling fulfilled. That’s exactly the problem, though. Girls look for boys and for relationships as a sense of fulfillment. They look to them for a sense of worth and value. You don’t need a boy to have value. To enter into a truly fulfilling relationship, you have to be comfortable with yourself. In order for a relationship to be successful, you can’t look to the other person to give you worth; you embrace the fact that you already have it. If you are jumping from relationship to relationship looking for someone to define you, these relationships will never be successful until you’re okay with yourself. You are already whole. You’re just looking for a person to supplement you and compliment you, not make you, you.

You can’t force relationships and force love, it just happens. In fact, a guy will respect you and value you more, if you value yourself.

So many girls give their relationships and their boyfriends 110 percent, but they lose themselves in the process.  They put their relationship and their boyfriend above themselves and above their school work and family. You’re not a doormat for your boyfriend or some guy to walk on; you’re a gift to be treasured. If you’re not okay with yourself, these relationships will remain superficial — you won’ be able to get closer with someone for the long run if you are still immature in your relationships and with your priorities. Relationships are not meant to lose yourself in, relationships are meant for growth.

Many girls don’t even realize they’re seeking a boyfriend for the wrong reasons. When you are seeking a boyfriend just to find self-worth then that is how you fall into the wrong situation. If you look for something hard enough, you’ll find it, but it won’t always be good. Many of these girls end up in abusive or unhealthy relationships. Don’t be afraid to walk away; don’t stay in an unhealthy relationship just because you don’t want to be single. You have the rest of your life to be in a committed relationship, focus on making friends not finding superficial boyfriends. Real relationships are not required, it’s just something most people get to experience. Jesus was single; he gave us relationships to procreate, not to find our self-fulfillment. Being in a relationship is not a right; it’s not an entitlement. Superficial relationships get in the way of life while true relationships help you make the most of life.

 

A strong believer in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
President of the Her Campus Chapter at Grand Canyon University. I am a Senior at GCU majoring in Government. I love adventures, horses and Nutella!